Crushes/infatuation and it’s debilitating effect

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this as I recently had an epiphany related to the title but….

A lot of the times, attraction can quickly turn into infatuation. But the difference is, infatuation hurts your approach, whereas attraction on its own, won't hurt your approach.

I know that the title is stating the obvious but it's fascinating how much we take this fact for granted until you actually SEE this psychological-dynamic at play in real life scenarios.

Over the years I never really understood how I managed to attract men I wasn't really into or was indifferent about but managed to turn off the ONE guy that I was crazy and obsessed about (this was an incident that happened about 9 years ago).

And that's when it struck me: if you let your attraction turn into an infatuation, the object of your affection can sense it (even if it's on a subconscious level). Plus when we have a crush on someone, we tend to put them on a pedestal. And that's the fascinating thing about all human interaction; when you put someone on a pedestal, that person will be forced to "look down on you".

As a result of this little dynamic at play, you give the object of your crush a lot of psychological power over you. This then triggers the neediness and anxiety in you and THAT is not sexy/attractive. It's a turn-off to anyone who is on the recieving end of that energy. Crushes are an attraction-killer.

The most effective way to cure it is to ensure that you never let your attraction turn into a crush….and that only comes with self-awareness and ensuring that you NEVER put the person you are attracted to, on a pedestal.

The minute you start to feel your attraction towards someone turning into a crush, nip it in the bud (the crush, not the attraction itself).

Anyway, that's my two cents. Would like to see everyone else's view on this.

submitted by /u/AdventurousTaro9
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