Dating in pain

Hi dating reddit. I'm a 20m student, and I've never had an intimate romantic relationship. I have chronic nerve pain which is an issue that affects almost every part of my life, especially dating and intimacy.

I first had nerve pain when I was 14 years old. I had a testicular injury, and unfortunately most of the women I associated with knew about this. People would frequently bring up my balls casually in school or at parties. Some people would bring it up out of a genuine care for me, but I felt most people just thought it was funny to talk about my "big nuts." I kindly asked people not to bring this up, but to no avail. I had to learn to take these comments in stride and with humor. I became know as the dude with messed up nuts.

This experience in high school had a negative affect on my self esteem. I felt helpless and unwanted. I guard my pain as a secret now that I'm in college. Only people I'm very close with know, which is the way it should be.

I've been trying to date more now that I'm in college. I'm still struggling with my self esteem, but I'm working on it. My biggest issue is feeling like no woman wants to be with a man who has messed up balls. I agree with the sentiment "when the right person comes along, they will love you despite your issues," but that doesn't make finding that person easier for me.

I, like most men, have a desire to connect with a woman on an intimate level. I know a relationship alone won't make me happy. I try my best to be as happy as possible by myself, with the support of my friends and family. I try to better myself everyday. I do this for myself and not for a relationship. I'm just struggling because I can't ignore the part of me that wants a deeper connection with a woman, and to have a family eventually.

I know any woman who rejects me just because of my issue isn't right for me, but I've learned to associate opening up about my pain with rejection. Pain is a fact of my life that I have accepted, but I'm struggling to find the right way to open up about it. Pain isn't the only reason I get rejected, but it sucks that it shapes the way people think of me.

When is the right time to open up about an issue such as chronic pain? Is there even such thing as the right time? Any advice would be appreciated. I've been talking to a therapist about these issues, but I wanted to hear from you guys too.

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