(22F)Met this guy(24) OLD 3 months ago. He reminds me of my ex in a lot of positive ways- personality and mannerisms that I liked in my ex. I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time but I really like this guy and he seems to like me? I'm trying to figure out if I want to consider him for a LTR or just wake up and move on.
We texted and facetimed for 3 months before meeting up because of the pandemic. He seemed interesting as a person but his texting tone seemed disinterested for the most part so I dismissed him for a while. Then he kept making plans for dates once outside is open and I asked to FaceTime. He agreed and we spent hours talking over FT. After that a mixture of text/FT over 3 months. I initiated all the FTs and felt like I was the one texting several times a week to keep in touch. But he engaged in each text conversation and he always agrees to FT then talks for hours over FT- even if I just wanted to see his face and say howdy.
We had a first (social distancing) date that was cute and talking/hanging out seemed to come easy to us but we sat far apart and were physically awkward- date ended in an awkward hug. He blushed when I seemed to pause before accepting the second date but I honestly spaced out/was trying to get out of someone's way and I was mentally cringing at the corny way he said he had a great time/wanted to do this again because his voice sounded so well rehearsed/affected. We had an even better second date that also ended in a less but still awkward hug- it was late and he invited me to spend the night but we had no flirting/physical contact besides that first date hug so I declined because I didn't want to ruin the date with a night of awkwardness.
So the confusing part is that on each date/FT call he constantly brings up serious relationship conversations no matter what we are talking about. I'm not opposed to settling down but it has to be the right person and it's never at the forefront of my mind when I'm getting to know someone so it catches me off guard each time he brings up topics like that. He's mentioned his parents story a lot and we've looked at houses together/talked about what we want in weddings/family life/where we'd like to live/his friends/his work/his opinions etc. He seems more animated in person but definitely is a reserved guy even then. So our interactions between dates are really great but he just doesn't initiate them; we could go a week or two without interacting if I don't message. He initiates once for every 3-5 times I message first and he's never initiated FT. For context I don't message friends/in previous relationships often/daily because I like my space. I also am a forward person who doesn't believe women cant message or take the lead on moving the relationship along but I expect conversations 2-3 times a week if we are not just looking to casually date. But we also haven't established what the goal here is. My question is whether it's too soon to ask what he's hoping/looking for- since the physical chemistry is tbd. Or whether we are just incompatible; is he just a nice guy but not for me?
submitted by /u/Revolutionary-Cow-65
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