“Don’t focus on finding a partner. Focus on building a life you could bring a partner into”.

I heard this advice once, not sure where. In all honesty, I fail quite often to follow it, but I’m trying.

I used to focus all the time on ‘getting the girl’. But the words of the Heath Ledger’s Joker actually spring to mind: “I’m like a dog chasing cars, I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught one”.

I think a lot of us (myself included) focus all our efforts on dating, and never actually think what happens if/when we succeed.

Cool, he/she likes you. Now do you have friends? Do you do interesting stuff? Are you interesting?

Or are you asocial? Are you unambiguous? Are you in a dead end situation in life? Do you have baggage?

I try to do this regularly: take an honest look at your life and ask “would I be proud to have someone join me on this adventure as a partner?”

If I’m honest with myself, I think no, not yet. Personally, I spend a lot of my time working, avoiding socialising, being disciplined and sorting myself out. But that’s not a life I’d be proud to offer to a partner. So I focus on working on my life until it’s one that I’d be proud to offer to someone ?