Treat dating apps the same way you would treat meeting someone at the grocery store or a bar or the carnival or whatever. When meeting someone in the wild, you have a quick conversation, mutually express interest, and get a phone number to make a plan for a date. Obviously with the virus, people aren’t able to meet so this is a bit moot for now, but with some people on dating apps you end up talking yourselves to death and I think it’s kind of setting yourself up to fail:
1) it creates a false sense of intimacy that can let you down when you actually do meet. You’ve spent the last two weeks thinking that this girl/guy/person is perfect for you, and then you meet and you realize they’re not as witty, or sweet, or thoughtful as you thought they were
2) you’ve already gone through all of the topics that most people talk about on first dates (school, family, where you from, hobbies, etc). I find that conversation is more difficult after we’ve texted to death. You’re also more likely to forget something they’ve told you and stick your foot in your mouth
3) it’s a time investment! I would much rather spend $20 on someone’s meal and know right away if we’re good together than spend two weeks texting about it only to be disappointed
4) sometimes people are just on dating apps for attention. If you try to move someone to a date and they hesitate, just move on. You will find the people who are most interested in you
5) as a girl, I think it creates more of a level playing field when it comes to “making the first move.” I can show my interest and it’s not like middle school
6) I get that for guys, this isn’t the most cost effective strategy. Girls might say yes just for free dinner. But I personally have never felt less interested in a guy because he invited me to coffee, or on a hike, or a cheap dinner like hot dogs and fries, and it takes you back to #4: if this bothers people, they’re not who you want anyway!
7) that feeling you get when someone you like texts you back? Imagine how much better that will feel if the text is about some dumb inside joke from the first date!
8) AND I THINK THIS ONE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT: some people are bad at keeping things going after establishing an initial connection. If you don’t move to a first date, you might throw out a bunch of people who could be perfect for you
Edit to add: also, this was just how people did it before online dating took over. People just went on a lot of bad first dates, and then a great one!
submitted by /u/crashthemusical
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