Exhausted

For the past 5 months I've (24M) been on and off with this girl (25F) from work. She's pushed me away so many times but when I finally decided enough was enough and blocked her on everything she went through extreme lengths to contact me, and I mean messaging my friends then emailing my work email. During the period she was blocked i noticed things about her behaviour around me, I caught her staring at me, finding excuses to touch me and try to play fight a lot.

The crux of it is that she's broken, she has major trust issues and said that she's dead inside. She said chased me because I'm important to her and made her happy and that not being able to talk to me really upset her and felt like I was pushing her away and that's not what she wanted, she knew I was being selfish trying to protect myself but she said she wanted to be selfish and talk to me. She told me how she's so used to being hurt by guys that her guard is always up, the slightest thing and she bails and that's she's still not over her ex who slept with her best friend while dating. She said how she can't recognise genuine affection so she gets confused, thinks that s guy is trying to play with her so she sabotages it to stop herself from getting hurt.

I decided to let her back in and we went on an amazing date, really soppy with her asking about my family etc and whether they'd like her, lots of making out, hand holding the works. Then later in the week she becomes blunt and didn't text me like she said she would if she was free, so I called her out on it and told her I was annoyed with her. I wasn't annoyed she was busy, I was annoyed that she didn't let me know as I don't like being kept waiting. She had this knee jerk reaction of getting angry and said that she forgot (if she did that's cool) however I would have appreciated, "ah shit I forgot and I've made of plans, sorry! Can we reschedule?"

I gave her some space and tried to resolve things, but after a few days she said that we're too different and that I overwhelmed her. She tried and it's not what she wanted. So I've blocked her again and I'm trying to take some space for myself.

Since she's seen me in work it's started again… The first time she saw me she gave me a present, she's also made the attempts of touching, stroking me etc, trying to play fight, staring, it's all happened again.

I'm exhausted of this and I'm putting myself first now and she's staying blocked. It's shit because yeah I do still like her, however she's fucked me over too many times and she clearly has a lot of issues she needs to sort out herself. Yeah she's still trying things to get my attention, and I've got a good friend who's looking out for me and helping me through this. I'm trying to leave the job soon anyway to move on to better pastures.

Yeah I'm aware I've been a Simp, but I'm putting myself first, and have done for the past few months, I just had a slight relapse and that's okay.