3 months ago my ex broke up with me. I've never felt this loved before, I thought this was the guy I was going to marry. We were going to move to his hometown together. His life came crashing down, step mum got breast cancer, he lost his chance at the career he dreamt of forever and a long list of other things going wrong. He convinced himself he was notngood enough for me and he was going to drag me down (this was something his ex girlfriends always said to him and I think this has a big toll on him). He became depressed, convinced he was going to ruin my life. He's amazing though, loving, caring, smart… but I couldn't make him see it. So he broke up to get his life in order. He told me he could never be a partner on my level as long as he was not able to get his shit together.
3 weeks ago, for the first time since the breakup, I broke down and begged and pleaded. He told me the breakip was still very difficult for him too and he was thinking about me a lot. But he thought it was still the right decision. So I decided to stop initiating contact.
Since then he's been kind of orbiting my social media a bit, same with my sister's social media. It doesn't hurt or worry me, so I didn't delete him. I dont care. A few days ago he sent my best friend a private happy birthday message. There's no friendship or connection there really, so both me and my best friend thought it was nice of him, but also strange.
Today I posted a video of my friend's puppy. For the first time since the conversation with him 3 weeks ago, he sent me a message, asking if I bought a puppy (we were planning on getting one together this year). I thought about ignoring the message, but tbh that's just not me – I'd feel terrible if I didn't. So I replied: "not yet 🙂 looking for a 2nd one for T". He replied: "that's nice :)". I didn't respond anymore and that was the end of the conversation.
Honestly, I'm kind of hoping he's going to snap out of whatever he's going through to come back. At the same time I've made massive progress and I didn't fall into some emotional hole when he messaged me.
Was my respond wrong? I already openly said I wanted him back 3 weeks ago. So now I wanted to keep my face and also show him: you need to try harder if you want to get a conversation out of me. But my friends now tell me I looked desperate and I shouldn't have replied to show him he's losing me. Was my response really that desperate? I don't want to ignore him, I'd hate that. I was intending to phrase my reply in a way that says: I'm strong, I know my value, I'm not running after you anymore, try harder if you want communication.
Please no "who cares, just move on" messages. That doesn't help me in any kind of way 🙂 thanks!
submitted by /u/krlls89
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