feeling down and hopeless about dating

Throw away account because i’m kind of embarrassed to have anyone I know read about this.

I am 23f and i’ve never been in a serious relationship and I can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. I don’t know if i’m setting two high of standards or something but it’s getting increasingly hard for me and I feel like i’ll be alone forever.

I don’t want to come off as conceited but people are constantly telling me that i’m beautiful. Friends, family, all types of men, I get stopped by strangers on the street, etc. So I don’t think it has to do with my looks. I workout a lot and I take care of my appearance. I have a lot of friends and am very social and people tell me i’m one of the best friends they have in their life. I listen to people, I try to help people as much as I can, I like to think i’m generally a good person. I’m fiercely loyal to those in my life and I would love to be that for someone in a relationship and have it reciprocated. My friends always tell me how chill I am and how i make everyone around me feel calm just by being there.

I’ve been with a good number of guys, and all different types of guys (looks and personality wise) but it never gets anywhere past just hooking up. The closest i’ve gotten to a relationship was with a guy I really liked and I told him I wanted to be exclusive, he agreed and we were for about 5 months but he refused to call us boyfriend and girlfriend. If other people asked if we were together he would almost look disgusted and say no even though everyone knew we were a “thing.” We ended due to distance and it seemed so easy for him to move on. Meanwhile I still think about him because it’s the closest thing i’ve had to what I really want.

I see so many posts about people who are willing to fight for their s/o given the toughest of circumstances. People are willing to fight to stay with someone who cheated on them for example and I would never put someone through that and still no one wants to be with me. Sometimes I get in my head that it’s because I’m black and I am always in white circles and it feels like people are embarrassed to make me their girlfriend. I know that’s silly but it’s a thought I can’t help but have. I know it’s silly to compare myself to others but it just gets hard. I just don’t feel good enough for anyone.

I know you all don’t know me personally but I could use some advice as to what i’m doing wrong and why no one wants to make things serious with me. Maybe people don’t take me seriously? I have some past trauma of guys always being dared to say that they like me in middle school and then they would tell me they said it only because they got dared to because i’m black. I feel too old to be thinking about these things but it’s just really hard to feel so unwanted and not be able to figure out why.

This was way longer than I expected so thank you so much if you read this far. If you have any advice I would appreciate it so much or even if you can just relate to how i’m feeling i’d appreciate it.