Feeling guilt about what I’m attracted to.

I’m a white girl. I like black guys. I don’t know why I do, I just am. My boyfriend is biracial, he is black and white.

I never really knew that having a preference was bad until just now. People say “only liking one race is racist” and stuff like that. I struggled with dating a lot before my boyfriend asked me out. I hadn’t been on a date until I was twenty-four years old. He was the first guy to ever ask me out and care for me. I would have said yes if he was any other race, too. It just so happens to be that he’s black.

I’ve been feeling really guilty about what I’m attracted to. I’ve just been feeling off the past few days. When I go to bed I turn my back to him and I don’t say anything. He’s been home from work due to a concussion and I haven’t really been interacting with him much. The most intimate I’ve been with him the past few days is straddling his lap while trimming his beard. I feel like a horrible person and I can’t shake the feeling. It’s destroying me inside out. I feel like I shouldn’t be around him anymore. It’s not bad enough to make me leave him, but it makes me feel bad.