We had just broken up and my ex was battling depression and I wanted to help, I felt required to help and Every so often I feel like I should just call her and help. However, i don’t talk to her anymore because she wasn’t good for me.
We’d go on and off being friends until I said I needed more time. Every-time we’d reconnect I’d convince myself I was just trying to help and that I didn’t have any feelings. Recently, a few months after we’d broken up we’d been calling each other a lot, right around when quarantine started. I was convinced I was able to be her friend, then she said a single name and it hit me like PTSD.
To give some insight the name was of another guy she had been with after we broke up. She had talked to me about him a lot because I told her it was ok. And every Time she brought him up I would listen and try to help even though it was killing me to hear that she liked someone else and to hear of the things they did together. But I continued to endure it because I believed that I was a bad person if I didn’t. I was convinced that my heartbreak was selfish because it was stopping me from helping someone’s
Moral of the story is that you should give it time before reconnecting with an ex. You don’t owe them anything, but you owe yourself to be happy and get through the heartbreak as soon as possible.
All my experiences before we broke up taught me important lessons and I’m content with them, but the experiences I had post-breakup lead me down a path that I didn’t want to go on. The post breakup experiences are the only ones I still think about, not because I feel hurt that my ex didn’t want to be with me, but because I remember the pain I felt and wonder why I continued to endure it. I learned the invaluable lesson to not put myself though unneeded pain, but it came at a great cost.
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