Ghosted six months in

Mostly venting but open to advice on moving forward thats not “put your head up and move on.”

The guy (36M) that I (33F) was dating made it six months into what we discussed as being a long term relationship (a goal, of course) when quarantine hit. It’s been about 3 months since then. Some other issues cropped up at the same time as our stay at home orders, but things were a little strained leading up to that time. Once we were in quarantine, he became increasingly distant, while for the most part we had texted frequently, spent a ton of time together, and talked a lot up until then. While he was distant, he would continue to initiate texts, but he evaded talking or seeing each other, and the texts just became more infrequent. What was once texting throughout the day became a text here or there every other day. I told him I needed more communication and he said he would be better about it, but that never happened.

About three weeks ago, I stopped hearing from him completely. Three days before my birthday he texted me, and I checked in the next day—all was pretty normal by our new standards. However, come my birthday, nothing. The next week, nothing. I did try reaching out once, just to say how I felt, but nothing.

I feel angry/sad/angry/sad all of the time. I know rationally what many people have pointed out—someone who handles stress and/or a relationship this way is not the kind of partner I want in life.

Still, the lack of closure or clarity or any kind of conversation from a person who was so considerate and communicative early on is just a shock. It’s made more shocking because we work for the same company and sometimes our projects overlap.

I’m working on accepting that I probably won’t get closure. I won’t get an explanation. I have a bright flashing light telling me this guy is not life partner material. Is it the “injustice” of it? The sting of rejection? Not getting my way? Maybe all of the above.

Thanks for listening.