This might be less of a request for advice than it is a need to vent and have some support but advice is appreciated. There's a lot more supporting details but that would take way too long. I just need something. I hardly ever cry, but I am as I write this. A little background is that I am a freshman in college, she is a Senior in High School about to graduate. We will still be at the same college next year. This was my first attempt at dating since Freshman year of high school after a bad experience.
I (m/18) matched with a girl (f/18) right around the first week of quarantine on a Tinder. As a rule, I use apps/texting to set up dates and don't get into lengthy back and forth 'get to know you' stuff, but because of corona, this was different. After a few initial texts where we were hitting off, we moved to snap. After about 2 weeks of this, I asked to Facetime.
Long story short, we both took the initiative to keep the convos going, and to hit the other up first , 50/50 effort, and she was fun/funny/interesting to talk to and pretty quickly over the last 50 days this developed into getting to know each other through about 4-5hours of almost daily facetimes, to the point where we got so close that we, often initiated by her, talked about our future, in which we both eventually promised we were in it for the long haul, and would get married one day, as well as her confessing her love for me (before I had told her I loved her) while crying tears of joy We actually (boo on us) broke quarantine twice to meet, nothing fancy, honestly met in a parking lot, couldn't stand distancing, and made out a bit. Our ideals, philosophies, matched up perfectly. She introduced me to her friends and they liked me a lot.
Since the Facetiming became a daily thing, we were both upfront about the fact we didn't want to waste time on anything but a serious relationship/I'm the only one she was talking to and she expected the same, and to my own surprise, she actually asked me to be her boyfriend after we first met in person, which I agreed to
We were seemingly obsessed with eachother. We were pouring our hearts out to eachother, talking about how 'we fit together', being a couple etc. She was talking to me about how she wanted have a boy and a girl with me, and we talked about names, about how we would travel together and live together when she was a Junior and I was a Senior. She told me her weekly counselor told her that she had been the happiest she had seen her since they began having appointments, and counselor attributed it to me.
The one negative in this all though was that she tended to have mood swings. Not common, but they happened. In her mood swings, she would not be the same. The vibe felt different. Talk about how she had been hurt, an how she felt we were moving too fast and she said I was "too perfect, and no guy like me existed". She claimed she was waiting for the other shoe to fall. She would mention how she felt like she was self-sabotoging. I pointed out the fact that she was the one intiating most of the fast paced stuff, like telling me she loved me when we first met in person, to which she agreed. Again, these crazy mood swings really only happened like 3-4 times in 50 days but I remembered all of them. In her last major mood swing, which was only 2 days ago, she was getting angry at me for mentioning things, saying it was too fast, despite the fact that she had mentioned them first already like meeting parents (which she claimed she was really excited to do without me even talking about it first, hanging with eachothers friends , etc" I pointed that out, to which she verbally agreed. After that moody discussion, which I talked to her about how yes it was still new, so we're both just getting used to eachother's quirks, she agreed and said her married friends told her the beginning was always hardest, she was back to her completely bubbly, lovey dovey self and we hardcore flirted like we always did, she ended the conversation by telling me she'd always be my girl, and that she loves me (she said it first). Fast forward to last night, she is acting real off. She doesn't talk about any problems or anything, I just sense something is off.
Well, it turns out I was right because she facetimed me today with the sole purpose of breaking up with me stating "I always felt that college should be a place where you find yourself, and everyone should do their own thing, and after thinking about it, I feel like this isn't real, and I no longer want a relationship, not just with you, but anyone throughout college." Obviously that means that she doesn't want to have to be exclusive, which I get, but how did someone who was clearly in love switch to that so fast? It ended just like that, and she blocked me on all social media. I respected her decision, but I am incredibly sad and heartbroken, and confused. How could a girl, who's friends I always texted with and were telling me how they hoped for me to be like their big brother, and a girl who told me unprompted that she loved me, wanted to marry me, and have kids with me, many times, but less than 48 hours later emotionlessly tell me she didn't want a relationship? Again, I'm mentally destroyed, angry, and feel as though I have been lied to and played. Does anyone know what could have happened here? Even if you just have some support or something, anything would help. Thank you. This wouldn't hurt nearly as much if she hadn't said all of those things to me and just said early on that she didn't want a relationship, instead she gets in one with me, talks about the future a lot, and loves me, and then she just doesn't? What the hell. It will take a long time to recover from this, if I do at all, and decide to try and go beyond just hookups.
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