I've been seeing a guy now for about 3 going on 4 months. We get along great, laugh, talk about various things. He's sweet to me, thoughtful and considerate. He always makes time to see me on the weekends, and he even treated me out for my birthday.
Thing is we've never had the "where are we talk." I hate it and from my personal experience its never gone good when I bring it up to a guy. I've found its better when the guy does it and feel if a guy wanted to…he would. Well this guy hasn't. I feel hes had plenty of opportunities to and still hasn't asked me officially to be his girlfriend. He's loving and affectionate but things aren't defined. I dont think he's dating anyone else but I am leery he is still checking his dating app. (where we met) He also introduced me to his friends fairly quick when we started dating. He told me his friends really liked me and thought I was beautiful which he thinks so as well.
This past week we went for a hike and his dad called. He told his dad he was with his "friend" and he said my name. When he said that it kind of sank in for me…"Ok this gives me my answer." Although, I know sometimes people feel uncomfortable saying girlfriend over the phone 1.) because it's still new and 2.) because I've never met either of his parents and 3.) he kinda has an odd relationship with both of them. I didnt say anything but later when I asked him if he still wanted to me go to his brothers wedding (he casually asked me on our second date) he kinda hesitated and said it was a "possibility." All these signs led me to believe he's not looking for anything serious and/or maybe changed his mind about the dynamic of our "relationship" which isnt fair because a month or so ago he said that he was trying to get himself more financially situated and wanted to know if I would be understanding and patient with him until he got his own place. I said of course and that I'm working on myself as well.
The next day after our hike (Memorial Day) he got sick and went to Urgent Care. We made plans to hang out after I got off work but I said if he wanted to rest he could. He said no that he'd like if I came over and kept him company. I said ok, you have my support. I went over there (an hour drive despite being tired from work) He seemed a little weak and I offered to take him to run a few errands. Later we got dinner and watched movies. He seemed to be feeling better. He grabbed my hand and kissed it which was the first time he did that and I thought it was really sweet.
Then the next day he started feeling sick to his stomach from the dinner we ate the night before. So I offered to go to the grocery store and buy him soup and Gatorade. When I came back I gave him his things and he said he really appreciated the things I did for him and gave me a hug, gave me a kiss on the lips and forehead before I left. I saw him again on Thursday and he was really sweet to me (hes always sweet to me but hes been sweeter since I took care of him when he was sick (Also his mom is kinda mean to him. I don't know if that matters and his exgirlfriend was kinda verbally abusive as well.) Before I left today he gave me a good hug and kissed me on the lips and forehead again.
I don't know what to do? I like really him and am beginning to care more for him but I don't want to get emotionally involved if he doesn't want anything serious. Also, I could see being his friend as well. We get a long really well but I just dont want to be led on or used. I don't know how to have this talk with him without possibly freaking him out. These kind of talks have never worked for me and I feel maybe it's just better to distance myself a little bit but I also don't want him to think I don't care. Kind advice please.
submitted by /u/starry_eyes222
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