Hi everyone,
This is my first time positing to r/dating. I've been lurking for some time and thought this experience was worth sharing.
I've been dating this girl since early February. For context, we matched on CMB January, went on our first date on Feb. 9 (coffee date) and a second date (hiking) on March 8th. (Note: This was before the shelter-in-place orders. The week after, our areas implemented the shelter-in-place.
We both got out of LTRs in 2019 – I was 6.5 years, hers was 10, and we both confirmed on the first date that we are both looking for a serious relationship.
We were planning on having a picnic for the next date, but that following week, the shelter-in-place orders were implemented. Every since then, I proposed that we can talk on the phone/facetime. I was thinking that the situation unfolding would make it more difficult, but instead, it turned out to be one of most positive experiences I've had while dating.
We bonded over our personality types and just went down a path of sharing all of our interests (both playing a musical instrument, sharing our favorite dishes, our daydreaming tendencies, favorite movies, etc.).
After a while, she made sweets and dropped them off to me at my place. In return, I made a couple of dishes for her. And after dropping off food, we go on walks for 2+ hours, just talking about random thoughts – what's on our mind, learning about our interests, our goals, and everything in-between.
We text each other often and at a minimum, I talk to her once a week for 2+ hours. Since she's been stressed with work, I surprised her mid-week and started calling her just to talk for about 20-30 minutes during the week. And we're still seeing each other in-person (social distance safety of course) at a minimum of every 2 weeks.
In short, things have been going great. This has been going on since March (approximately 2+ months). We have great conversations: in-depth, philosophical, and every time we talk, and when either one of us are down, we are there to motivate and encourage one another.
My last relationship ended in August and ever since then, I've been going on many dates, talking to different women, learning what I would like in a partner, and just enjoying the experience. I have the tendency to rush into things, so this was good for me to balance my emotions and not rush into anything right away.
However, with this girl, I've gotten to the point where I'm not interested in chatting up other women. I've been strong enough to keep the apps up just so I don't go tunnel vision and get too aggressive. But we share so much in common and the dynamics between us have been excellent.
As a result, I've come to the conclusion that I should start bringing up how things are going between with us. Most of the advice from my friends suggested that I can throw it out very casually during our conversations, and it can be done over the course of a few interactions. Again, things have been going great. Just trying to balance expectations, but also get a litmus test of where we are at.
I'll be seeing her in person the weekend of June 6-7 where I suggested we can try out a new activity (social distance safe). I was planning on casually suggesting this as a part of our conversation, perhaps after a good laugh ;).
Here are my main questions:
- Is the conversation worth having at this point, or should I wait a bit more?
- The COVID-19 situation has made this a very interesting experience, but I still think it’s worth finding out.
- How should I approach this exclusive conversation? What words or phrases would work best?
- Would it be better to wait till things start opening up? We've seen each other 5 times in person, but not sure if doing further activities would make things better.
EDIT: Fixed some grammar.
submitted by /u/Sundalo
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