I asked him this weekend why he rarely kisses me except a quick goodbye kiss. (He also never hugs me or holds my hand.) He told me about his only two serious relationships and how they broke his heart. One was the mother of his child who he planned to spend his life with but she was an addict and took their son across the country and he hasnt seem him since, about 6 years. The other is a woman he dated for a year that ended with her believing her friend when she said he was screwed up and she strung him along for awhile after that. I believe that one ended last Sept. 2019. He basically claimed to not kiss me bc he doesn't want to feel like that again.
Now I have trust issues from being lied to throughout my 16 yr marriage…a major betrayal of trust that's left me with PTSD. Then I lost the man I met after him to cancer and our relationship was…complicated. He genuinely cared, but he was also using me for a place to live so he could stop living with his mom and I paid for a lot even though he had a great paying job and I support myself and 2 kids on a stipend.
So, I want to believe my guy now about his trust issues. I do believe him. He was emotional (and drunk) when talking about it. But of course, my PTSD trust issues have me wondering if he's using it as an excuse.
To add, I'm feeling all vulnerable bc I expressed how I really felt about what happened to me to him for the first time (I NEVER talk about it with him) AND I told him I like him. So I'm freaking out about having been so vulnerable bc I, too, don't want to hurt anymore.
To add to the mix is this little blip where I am the court appointed monitor for visitation between my ex and my children. My ex's mother is a monitor too, but she is suddenly never available. My ex is a register sex offender so he is not allowed to be with our kids alone.
So, is he just using "trust issues" as an excuse and he's not that into me? Or…
Oh, we've been seeing each other since December but it's been a very non-traditional path…more like sex first, then talking and sex that's progressed to overnights and a weekend with my kids and weeknight dinners, etc…tho he'll throw the brakes on every now and then which is hard…
Tl;dr-Guy I've been seeing since Dec. 2019 in a non-traditional path: sex; then getting to know each other; now seeing each other, sleepovers, weekends together cooking, etc basically said he's had two relationships and both broke his heart and he doesn't want to feel that way again when I asked why he never kisses me (which isn't true…he gives a quick goodbye kiss). He basically stole the "Pretty Woman" hooker line. He was emotional and drunk when we talked about it. I, too, have major trust issues…PTSD bad trust issues that I'm doing my best not to let impact my relationships. Do I believe him or is it just an excuse for something?
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