so everything where I am is still pretty much locked down for obvious reasons and I’ve been exploring using dating apps to meet people.
I met this guy, let’s call him Jason, and he is so sweet. We “met” about a month ago and have not been able to meet up because he is a doctor and exposed to Covid regularly while I am living with my at risk grandparents during quarantine so we FaceTimed and called a lot.. like A LOT. In 4 weeks we’ve racked up almost 40 hours on FaceTime and calls and it’s just taken me by surprised that it has gone so well – we have so many similar interests and sense of humor and life goals. This entire time I had been preparing myself for something amazing once we’re all ok to go out but on Friday he had been kind of quiet and I started to have this feeling of “is this too good to be true?” and, in fact, it was.
his age on his dating profile said he was 33 and he told me he was 38. i do appreciate his honesty – there was really no way for me to find out and I could tell how guilty he felt about it. The conversation we had via text about this was very defensive on his end and I said that I thought we should talk about it on the phone after time to cool down. So we talked on the phone and immediately he apologized for being defensive and I mean really just said everything I needed to hear – I asked about past relationships and why he did this. He said it was because the app pulled his age from his Facebook which was wrong and I had an incorrect birthdate on Facebook (because I clicked through the screen so fast when I was like 11 and not allowed to be on it :p) for a long time too so this feels valid. and he listened to all of my concerns and said he couldn’t blame me for not wanting to speak again if I didn’t. I said I was a bit confused and needed to think on it and then we talked for hours again and it still felt so perfect.
I do trust him on this.. I don’t think he was being creepy or predatory because we’ve both poured in a lot of time into each other. But now he is closed in age to my parents than me and I’m not entirely comfortable with that.
I guess I’m just confused. On one hand, I am a bit disappointed by this and wonder if we really have a shot at a successful relationship and being happy together with this age gap but on the other hand, I haven’t connected with someone like this ever and wonder if im over thinking it… we connect, have the same levels of activity, want the same things… is the age really a big deal? It’s confusing because if I knew his age, he and I would have never talked and I would never have developed feelings for him but now I do have feelings for him and don’t know what to do.
Tl;dr – guy I really like lied about his age but came clean and we have both poured a lot into this… I am disappointed but is it worth giving it a shot given how much I like him and the fact that this seems like a genuine mistake?
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