I've been online dating for 2 years now and have noticed the same pattern happening to me over and over again: I start messaging with a guy and he seems super keen, messaging me all the time and would ask me out on a date within 2 days of talking. We would then go on 1-3 dates and then suddenly he starts to pull back until he ghosts completely or if we end up going out on a few more dates, at some point they'll tell me they aren't in the headspace for a relationship(even though I've never told them that's what I'm looking for).
I guess what I've realised in hindsight is that if they ask me out on a date almost instantaneously, it means that they are quite keen but once they get to know me, something puts them off. I can't quite put my finger on what I am doing that causes such a big shift to be fair. Another thing is that I know based on my friends' experiences that some guys really just message endlessly and never plan a date until both parties lose interest.. and this has never really happened to me so I've started to wonder it must be me and that I probably come off in a different way irl than on text. But then again I wonder why they still go on more than one date with me.. My question is – what could possibly be happening and how do I prevent it from happening again?
submitted by /u/throwaway02697
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