Hey guys so I’m very new to Reddit (I know I’m behind) but I thought enough is enough! I need some new perspectives and advice!
So there is this guy I’ve kind of been in love with since I was 15. Hes 25 and I’m 24 now. We grew up together because we were neighbors in the same complex for about 15 years. Now we’ve moved but our families are still wonderful friends and so are we. Our moms are best friends (can’t go a day without phoning each other.) Our dads are best friends. And our siblings are best friends. I’ve liked this guy before his relationship, during, and after it. I never thought he saw me as anything more than just a best friend or even a sister. Until one day…
It had been a couple months off his breakup and we attended a sport event together. This wasn’t unusual for us cause we always attend games together. But there was something strange about this night in particular. He walked me through the rules and plays of the whole game. We drank beers. Shared some nachos. I realized he was becoming more and more touchier and flirtier. He attempted to warm me up with hugs and began playing with my anklets. When the bartender mentioned us being on a date he didn’t deny it. I was taken back by his behavior but I did somewhat see it coming. We’ve always had a deeper connection and a more intense “friendship”. Everyone would tell me “you guys look like you guys are more together than him and his gf”. That same night one of my siblings was having a little party at home that we ended up going back to. I invited one of my guy friends to join us after the game and he did. During the night, at our house, my guy friend (who I made VERY clear to many times before that night that I’m interested in someone else) drank a little too much. He began tugging on my hand pulling me away from the neighbor boy. He began getting upset cause “i wasnt giving him enough attention.” Anyways after a couple of hours, my guy friend got really upset and walked out. Me being a few drinks in, I began to cry. Of course he comes into the rescue and begins to comfort me. After a moment of reassurance that none of the things that happened is my fault and that he loves me as much as one of his siblings, I wanted to be left alone. HE LOVED ME LIKE A SIBLING! HE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE STABBED MY POOR LITTLE TIPSY HEART! Anyways…after a bit of crying in the bathroom I got myself together walked out into my living room to see him sitting on my couch. I sat next to him as he had a conversation with someone else at the party. He slowly reached for my hand and held it while I sat quietly next to him. I leaned a pillow over his legs and laid there. The person he was talking to was soon after asleep and we began having a conversation together. Then one thing led to another and our legs were intertwined and we were cuddling on the couch. Soon after he began rubbing his hand up and down my thighs and at this point we haven’t let each others hands go. We stayed up all night laying around on one another’s chests and rotating from one side of the couch to the other. Anyways the next morning came and we were up as if we didnt spend the whole night listening to one another’s heartbeats and rubbing each others thighs. (This was huge for both of us?). This night was never spoken of.
We hung out a few times after that and nothing as intimate has ever happened. Just little flirty remarks here and there and that was it. Until a couple months after the situation, I got a boyfriend. After I had made things official with some other guy, he began to freak out. He would ask me questions comparing him and my bf. He would mention how he can do things better than my bf. He would tell my friends he doesn’t think we were right for each other. And most importantly he would be very passive with my bf. He became very protective of me. After a few months I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me so I broke up with him. Once my break up happened, he went back to acting like he wasn’t the one freaking out over the fact that I was in a relationship. After my break up we hung out many more times. He was more careful with what he says and does. He is more self conscious of his behaviors now. For example he might put his hand over mine then pull away. He might put his hand on the small of my back and pull away. Its been over 2 years now that I’ve been broken up from my ex and he still doesn’t want to hear of him or about him.
One day my sibling asked him a question about where the ideal place would be to meet a girl he would potentially marry and he said “oh Idk, a friends friend, or a party, a neighbor girl.” He makes slight comments here and there about how he either thinks im attractive or fun to be around or flirts with me. But I can’t tell what he wants for sure. He is definitely more cautious of his behaviors and what he says. He seems so hot and cold. I do realize that we have A LOT in stake if we get together and things dont workout, but Idk if thats whats holding him back. What do I do? How can I figure out a way to know if he actually likes me or not without making it weird between us and our families? Is he into me or not? I just would like to know what he wants ?
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