So I (late 20s F) matched with this guy (late 20s M) on a dating app towards the end of March. We messaged a bit getting to know each other, went on 4-6 FaceTime dates, and met briefly for a social distance walk (around an hour). He lives about 2 hours away but is moving to my city for a job transfer at the end of June. After the first few FaceTime dates I noticed the text communication was decreasing a bit, but our date interactions were still awesome! He indicated during one of our dates that he wasn’t really looking at apps at the moment and I was the only person he’s gone on a virtual date with (but no exclusivity has been talked about, obviously).
This past weekend he came down to visit, as my country has lifted some covid restrictions. Things felt great although there were definitely some nervousy feelings on both of our ends. He ended up staying the night and we got intimate though it wasn’t the greatest due to nerves. We talked about how there should be better communication around likes/dislikes to make sure we’re enjoying each other. We got up the next morning, made breakfast and hung out, and he left in the afternoon to go home. As I walked him to his car he held my face and gave me a bunch of kisses and texted me when he got back safely.
Since then, the texting has been sparse. I tend to over analyze things and I get a bit anxious so I sent him a message telling him how much I enjoyed his visit and hoped we could see each other again. He replied that we definitely could, and then I made a joke about how I’m not very smooth because of how nervous I get and don’t convey my thoughts in a chill manner. He said I was totally fine and not to worry about it, but of course I still do. So here’s where I’m stuck wondering: is he not very interested? Or is he just not big on texting now that we’ve gotten through the initial “get to know you” stage.
A few things to note: he replies quickly if I have a pertinent question, takes much longer if it’s a casual conversation question. Sometimes it’s hours, sometimes he won’t get back for almost a day. But he’s always responded. I can see he’s online (we use an app in our country that shows this but we don’t have read receipts, the app is also in computer or phone form). He works from home on the computer doing tech work. He messaged his friends back a few times during our visit so I know he does respond pretty timely. I also take some time to reply here and there, I don’t barrage him with texts and I don’t think I come across as needy or anything, albeit a little nervous and in my head a bit. I go to therapy for this so I am already receiving some help.
So many things pointed to him being interested when we were together. He seems like the introverted type, not a player or anything. He’s into gaming and music and hikes with friends a lot, otherwise he’s a bit of a homebody. He’s also indicated that independence in a relationship is important to him and I totally agree, it’s just hard to navigate that when we’re at the beginning stages of dating. I’m a very verbal communicator and I’m ok if we don’t text as much; however we’re not in a relationship or have talked about exclusivity so it’s hard to feel confident. Is he simply doing his own thing and doesn’t feel the need to casually text often now that we’ve met? Or is he not really interested. It’s so hard to tell! And I don’t want to express my insecurities in this so early in the dating stage, I recognize that’s not an attractive quality. I’m working on it. Any help or advice is great, thank you.
submitted by /u/muskoxe
[link] [comments]
