"Thinging" by definition: In a relationship, the intersection between being a "thing" and just being a fling. A not-so-serious level of dating, that is still more serious than a one-night-stand or a quick relationship.
So I (F/23) am currently dating a guy (M/24) and he defined us in a "thinging" phase. We have only known each other for 1.5 months now and i know it's still early to determine if we are meant fo each other but i often found myself stuck in this thinging phase with guys for months and never progressed into an official relationship…and that sucks.
To sidetrack a little, I always try to give my best in a relationship to make sure the guy that I like are treated right but they never seem to reciprocate back the same way. I usually only date guys from Tinder because that's the only way for me to meet guys (i'm not that sociable in real life) , but i've been picky and be clear with these guys about what i'm looking for — a serious and committed relationship.
The guy I am dating right now just got out of a 5-year long relationship and i feel like we'll never progress any further because he's still doubting us and not sure what he's looking for. He said he is willing to see how far we can progress and he's not going to date multiple people. We have been spending a lot of our time together and i am happy with him, i haven't noticed any red flags yet. However, i just keep being reminded that we'll never work out (given my shitty past dating history and he just got out of a long-term relationship) and that makes me really lost and confused. I'm not the type of person who learns to live in the moment nor take one step at a time, i need assurance and a guy to tell me "he is also looking for something serious", but that is never the case. I know myself, i get attached quickly and i get very vulnerable when things don't work out.
My question is, how does one ever get through this phase? I hate it because it makes me feel shaky. As a result, i find myself trying to resist certain feelings and that sucks. What kind of perspective works best? To be serious with this person or just live in the moment?
submitted by /u/galwitheyebrows
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