Sometimes I'm just not sure if my boyfriend really loves me. He tells me he does, but why do I still end up feeling like I'm wondering all the time. It hurts so much to feel like I'm always the one looking for his attention lately and it's getting really hard to the point where I'm crying at night wondering if he still feels the same as when he first told me he loves me. So many things make me insecure, I know my self esteem isnt the greatest either. I want to feel like Im wanted by him, I want to feel like he needs me like I need him. But sometimes, I just think if I were to just leave, he wouldn't even try to fight for me. I feel Im just not as important or a priority in his life, ill always be last to know in things that matter.
I wonder if I'm the problem for asking too much and trying to have a relationship. I feel like the love hasn't been consistent and sometimes I just don't know how to communicate with him. I don't feel like a part of his life when he doesn't tell parts of his day or when he doesn't even ask me as many questions anymore. He doesn't communicate how he feels with me or tells me much or hardly anything at all. I think I really do love him, but not sure if the problem is our difference in love language, his is words of affirmation and mine is quality time (which is severely lacking atm with quarantine, my lack of a car, his inability to drive atm)
Is it supposed to be okay to feel this way when you love someone? I don't know what to do and I find myself feeling this way many times.
I just don't have anyone to talk to for guidance, not even my own family, I don't wanna burden my friends and this is supposed to be my first serious relationship..
I'm 27 female and he is 28 male.
Edit: I just want to thank you guys for the kind responses, I'm reading them all and doing some reflecting about this whole situation, Ill find time to reply soon.
submitted by /u/_Flobee
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