How to Recover

My (21M) girlfriend (18F) ghosted me. We had been dating for a little over a month and we used to work with each other so we went into it as friends. I was head over heels for her, and it seemed like she returned my affections equally so I don’t feel like I was being overly clingy. I know it comes off as cocky or arrogant or something to say this but I really think I was good to her.

We hung out a couple of times before she left Texas to go to another state to stay with her dad for the summer, and she planned on coming back to a college somewhat near my college. Until then we had been texting throughout the day and FaceTiming every night.

A little less than 2 weeks ago she said she wanted to take a break for AT MOST a week, she takes antidepressants and was on and off of them at her dads so her moods were a little sporadic. She said she wanted to get her mental health back on track because she felt like she wasn’t being a good girlfriend; and also to distance herself from everyone while she makes her decision about what college to go to. She made it abundantly clear that it was NOT a breakup, her last text was literally “I just need you to know that I want to be with you”…

So yeah the week goes by without us texting, and then I texted her after the week was up asking where we stood. No reply. I tried once a day for the next couple days and nothing, eventually messaged her brother on insta and he said she hasn’t been mentioning me lately. I also recently found out that she has gotten back on bumble at some point “looking for friends” where she was currently staying. Coming from the same person who has been cheated on in her past relationships this just fucking stung. Honestly I’m not sure if I can say that I broke up with her or vice versa but I officially did this morning. Last night was rough, lots of crying and coming to term with everything but I think I’m over the hump, having some small bit of closure helped, even if I had to give it to myself.

My problem now is that I’m afraid I’m going to have trouble trusting people in future relationships. I didn’t see any red flags and I thought that I was a good judge of character before this but she flipped a huge 180 on me and I’m kinda just shaken to my core. Also I’m pretty inexperienced with dating and I have a hard time with falling pretty easily for people which is gonna make this so much worse. Any tips?

This sucks.

Edit: She actually just messaged me back after all this time. I think it’s because I called her out on the bumble thing and being two faced, but yeah she blocked me now so there’s that bitter sweet closure I wanted.