This is the strangest situation I’ve ever been in. We’ve been talking on Instagram since January and it was pretty low key at first. We’d reply to each other stories and that was that. We knew we had a lot in common but it was as if none of us was interested in talking more, no pressure.
That changed during quarantine. We’d talk more frequently and decided to meet as soon as the lockdown rules loosened a bit (for the record, I live in Italy).
We met at his place because restaurants/bars were still all closed and we were only allowed to stay inside. We had a nice evening and we ended up having sex – 5 hours, alternating chatting and getting back at it.
In the following days we kept texting and he said he wanted to see each other again, that he felt we had a great time and so did I. We told each other that we liked one another.
So we met again, this time at my place, and something went wrong, but I can’t figure out what. We were drinking wine, talking, playing the piano together but we went to bed he was nervous and absent minded. He left after a couple of hours and when he was leaving I asked “Already?” to which he replied “Yes”.
The following day he texted me saying he was sorry for going away so early and that he didn’t want to be rude. He couldn’t come and he was embarrassed about that. I told him it was okay but something kept bugging me, so after a few days I texted him.
I told him that it’s very difficult for me to find someone I like both physically and mentally and that I thought he could have been more than a hookup. He told me that he felt the same but suddenly he told me that he didn’t quite feel the chemistry in bed and that the smell of cigarette in my hands and in my mouth was a huge turn off. I was baffled, as he never mentioned this before and told him that while I’m already on my way to reduce smoking to eventually quit (I’ve cut down during lockdown with the purpose of quitting), but I wouldn’t be cutting down on the spot just for him. And that was the end of it. This was almost a month ago.
After that conversation I didn’t look for him nor texted him again because I thought we made ourselves clear. But he kept replying to my stories and I feel it’s very confusing on my part. We also talked a little because he initiated conversations after I replied.
I really like this guy and I thought he was genuinely interested seeing how he kept texting me and expressed how he wanted to meet. I keep thinking about him and how I feel it’s a wasted opportunity, not to give ourselves another chance.
Now, a few days back I wrote to him asking if he would go out for a drink or a walk, with no second end to it, and he said yes but we haven’t set a date. I’ve asked him because I want to get over myself. We met in a very strange period of time, when people were not allowed to go outside and we were forced to stay inside. I want to see if I still like him or if I’m merely crushing with the idea of him.
We have very similar minds and attitudes, a similar sense of humour and view of the world, not to mention that we have the same taste when it comes to art, books, music. We both play the piano, he also paints and I do too.
Am I making a mistake in meeting him again and should I just get over it? Because he went abruptly from “I really like you and I’d like to meet you again” to “I don’t like the smell of cigarette on you and also maybe the sex wasn’t so good”, and I don’t understand what happened in between.
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