Im just an average person kinda just trying to get by I guess.
I see boys and think “Hey hes cute” or whatever but I cant see myself dating because it feels like so much work needs to be put into a relationship that its just easier to be alone.
Im fine with being by myself and I suppose im very sexually inexperienced but the thought of someone getting close to me emotionally like that makes me cringe really hard.. like i dont know what it is but i feel like we’re born alone and we die alone so like.. whats the point?
I guess this was triggered bc I saw a video of one of my friends(30+F) getting engaged on fb and the guy was on his knee talking about how much he loves her and tbh that felt really mortifying. I think I would hate that? I dont know how to process this
And boys do show interest in me, so its like i do have the option of dating (and actually had a boyfriend for like 2 years at one point) but the idea that people can get so close physically and emotionally like that makes me reel- i am so uncomfortable with that idea but its like normal for people to date? Am i a freak?
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