I made friends with this guy last year. We met through friends and then ended up going to the same school. Because we had mutual friends already, it just made sense for us to hang out. Recently, like in the past month or so, out of nowhere I started thinking of him…in other ways. I thought it was from going stir-crazy in quarantine…but it's not…
I should clarify I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but he isn't someone I'd think of romantically. He goes to comic conventions and collects action figures and has costumes that aren't even for Halloween. I'm super girly and work in high fashion retail and used to be a paid makeup artist. Different strokes for sure. But what's nice about him is that when I do mention my "nerdy" interests, he knows what I'm talking about! I used to get teased for that stuff, so it's a nice change of pace. We both like anime, we both have a really weird/edgy sense of humor, and he's also a bit shameless about everything which I admire. It's also an aspect of his personality that I enjoy. He's hilarious and I love talking to him because I know we're never going to run out of topics and he never fails to make me laugh. Nothing is off-limit. Not even gross-out humor.
There are a few problems though…first being, I don't know if he would ever feel that way about me. He's not like any other person, let alone guy, I've ever met in my life. I can never get a read on him. Especially because we talk about so much weird stuff together…I might just be a bro to him. Or maybe he thinks I think he's just a bro? Again, I can never get a read on him. Another thing: he's seen me flirting with or even hooking up with other guys at parties. I'm afraid he thinks I'm just…not a serious girl? Maybe?
The biggest problem I'd say…he doesn't take anything seriously, ever. I've seen him be serious maybe once in our entire friendship and it wasn't even over something that serious. He's really into acting and stuff like that…again, he's super shameless which I admire but sometimes I think that might be a problem because I can't really imagine what he's thinking and that confuses me…but, his last relationship lasted a few years, so I know he's capable of holding that down. I just can't interpret him at all in general.
Also, I'm just having trouble wrapping my head around this whole thing in general. He's not the type of guy I usually "crush" on. In fact, I feel weird even calling it a crush. By now, I'd have told all my friends about it. Not so much this time…maybe it's because he's a friend too? I'm not going to lie, it started with a sexual attraction, but now I think it's reached crush territory. I'm freaking out.
On one last final note: I have no idea how he feels about me. It even felt weird typing that. Once in class, I sat my legs over his (like a leg-rest?) cause I was being playful and he had a bit of a reaction but I don't know if it was attraction or embarrassment. Honestly, it could definitely be the second one. Again, this guy is so hard to read.
Any ideas on how I should handle this?
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