Hello!
I know I really should not ask strangers on a forum about advice. Everytime I do this, I get pessimistic responses from most people, but at the end, they were all wrong. But I am once again going to do this, I guess I cannot think for myself or something. Or I just want to get it off my chest.
I am currently seeing a guy (23M), and we have a lot in common. Thing is, right now I am overseas because of work, but I will return home next month, where he also lives. We met each other one month ago at a dating app. At first, we both thought we clicked very well together, and has since then had good convos over text, that recently became voice/video chats once a week. So far, we have done this four times.
I am the initiator, I've initiated everything so far. Convos, asking to voice chat. I feel like it's more of me not giving him a chance to ask first, because I am scared that he will not initiate if I don't. I'm scared nothing will happen. Also, I also see it as a way to show my interest to him.
Right now, I am working. He is currently studying at a very prestigious university. He says that he has a lot of work to do, and I believe him. Everyone knows that the university he is attending is one that promises a bright future, but also tons and tons of schoolwork. And when he comes home, he barely have time to make food and wind down/relax. Because of that, he can't find too much time to text me, but he does find time to voice chat once a week (so far), which I know I should appreciate more.
But recently, I have started to get this worrying feeling that he is starting to lose interest. I am worried that my obvious signs of interest may have made him less interested, or that I am a boring person, or stupid/not smart enough, or that my body is too ugly, or my habits are too much to handle.
Emotionally, I feel this worrying feeling. But logically, I don't think so.
Logically, I feel like he is interested. So far, he has continued to ask me questions whenever he has time to text me. The lack of texting is not because of him losing interest or disrespecting my time, it is him being buried in schoolwork and being exhausted.
Also, he has expressed worry and asked me several times if I am ok with him being so slow with answering me over text. And I've said that it's fine everytime, since I want to respect his priorities with schoolwork.
I am seeking advice on how to chill out! Maybe I can get some answers from men who has also been through busy times, what were your mindsets? And for people who feels somewhat similar as me, what are your methods to chill out, especially about a relationship that isn't even a full-fledged relationship? We are still getting to know each other, and my brain is already acting out like a crazy person!
Maybe I act this way because I've never met someone as him. It's hard to explain and keeping my anonymity.
Important: So far I have restrained myself and have not freaked out in front of this guy, I only ever answer whenever he answers, so in front of him I act chill, but inside, I am very far away from chill lol.
I just want to find peace with my thoughts.
Edit: wording and grammar
submitted by /u/talagidkslshd
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