I always find myself thinking about the what ifs of my dating life. What if my 8 year crush had even given us a shot after I asked her to Homecoming? What if the girl I took instead – and then two more times – went on the first date instead of standing me up and lying to me? What if the girl who I thought was perfect because we had so much in common said yes instead of leading me on?
I think to myself, "we could have had it all." We could have had it all. I would have loved any one of those girls. Each has a unique personality and beautiful smile. We could have spent nights watching stars, ice skating (or learning to), or even just being together in times like the present. What makes these thoughts worse is the fact that I have had most of these girls continuously in my life after they denied me, and they are all amazing people.
I had no option except throwing dirt on those flames. I had to smother them. I had to fortify myself, but the hot smoke still gets to my head. What if I got a yes without lies behind it?
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