We [M21-F21] were together for about 5 months, at the last two she was medically diagnosticated depressed. We developed an intimate relationship within a few days, getting to know each other quickly and deep connecting. Our union was highly reciprocal, full of love’s gestures and attention. The mutual problems started when she realized something key: she was relying on her happiness in me.
In my case, the main issue dealing with her depression was the insecurity. She laked a lot of self-steam, therefore she was always doubting and harassing on herself by minor mistakes or not-that-big-off-a-matter-subject. This situation race rapidly, and the impact on the relationships was an implied censure pact: I couldn’t talk about my feelings because no matter how I said it, she ended up feeling incompetent and frustrated, her fear of disappointing my expectations made her fragile and distant. Therefore, communication was impossible without honesty and openness, slowly deteriorating the trust as well as the intimacy -until broken-
Otherwise, when feeling overwhelmed with her emotions or deeply sad, she would shut down, giving me a light-cheerless treatment or ignoring me completely, up to full days. Her attitude became cold, most of the time she was unhappy and bored, with no energy left. Her initiative disappeared and so the affection. My strength to remain gradually decreased and the reciprocal experiences of love in the relationship were relegated to the past.
Finally, I find myself stuck in a dilemma: I knew her change was due to depression, and I wanted to help and be a support for her, but ¿that means I had to stay in an unhappy relationship that didn’t address my needs? I leave her on her worst, but I do not regret it. It wasn’t an easy call, because I can truly say that I love her. However, I valued myself and preferred my happiness. I also believed that losing her attachments was an opportunity to redirect and find her life purpose on herself.
Life isn’t as bright as we could wish. For those of you guys fighting depression, remember, you deserve to be happy, and you will. And for those of you guys supporting a depressed partner, do not forget, you deserve to be happy.
—
TL;DR: Stonewalling and non-reciprocal behavior deteriorated my relationship with a depressed partner. I decided to quit.
submitted by /u/JuanJMesa
[link] [comments]
