Hi, I’m a 23F and I’m in a ridiculous situation. I cannot even begin to process it. I HAVE BEEN GHOSTING WITHOUT EVEN MEETING THE PERSON IN QUESTION! I have acknowledging my feelings towards the situation but at the same time I do not feel entitled to them.
I don’t really don’t date online because I generally use social media for fun. If anyone had messaged me prior to this situation, I doubt I would have responded.
I received a message roughly a few weeks ago. The sender (25M) was just really friendly the conversation just flowed. I was not paying attention to him at all. I was in fact still in contact with an ex on and off during the whole of quarantine as well as uni friends etc. I was generally preoccupied with work, education and making sure got my daily dose of sunlight and exercise.
At some point the conversation took a turn for the best and we connected on an unreal level. I’ve always been aware of my “unrealistic” expectation. Almost everyone who really knows me does not fail to tell me.
He seemed to exceed it any of my expectations. In fact, even though I felt like the main character in my very own movie it still felt real, like this could be happening. (Nothing out of the ordinary.) He asked me for my number and I didn’t give it at first, he some how pulled some banter out of the bag and the whole ordeal just became playful, funny and if anything I wanted to be friends at the very least.
It was nothing to do with how he looked, no one had ever had my attention like that before. I could be my complete self, which isn’t my usual approach talking to the opposite sex. I’d feel really reserved and it wouldn’t work because I’d be holding back without even knowing. I would eventually find an issue and stop contact with the person in question.
He expressed his interest and I welcomed it with open arms but still tried to play it off well. I kept my cool. We spoke day and night, only time we ever took a break was to sleep. When I woke up I’d wake up to a message.
A few days ago, he did not reply to my message. I assumed he was busy and gave it the benefit of the doubt. After all he could be busy, the day had passed and it was nightfall. I thought I’d check up on him. I messaged him and said “Hi, how have you been today?” He gave me an enthusiastic response and we picked up from there. We spoke until the morning, as he’d always convince me to stay up and not “leave him”. He did the same thing again and I thought maybe I had said something which put him off.
He had been asking me for a while when I’d like to meet him. He had expressed his feeling openly and honestly. He would constantly remind me how he felt. I had originally agreed to meet him Sunday (tomorrow). He has ignored me for a few days now.
I was banking on the fact that he would message me to cancel our plans or just something, anything. He did not. At this point I was so confused and felt a whole rush of emotions. I wanted to understand why more than anything. I then messaged him and thought I’d be honest with how I was feeling regarding him not responding. I said “It bothered me that you didn’t feel the need to respond.” He read my message and did not respond still.
I don’t know the reasoning behind it but I’m trying to process it. I’ve deleted his number so I cannot message him.
Normally, I notice that I warm to guys slowly and I do not necessarily like them first. They would show a clear interest and put effort in to show me how they feel. I would enjoy the way they treat me and start to like them. In this situation I like him as much as he like me right from the beginning. I wanted to see him as much as he wanted to see me. I did express this without being overbearing. My feeling as well as my intention were clear.
I’ve never been in love or had a boyfriend. I feel like this could have been something…I just don’t want to leave the situation with abandonment or trust issues. I don’t want to carry this over, well if I ever have a love interest again lool.
Any thoughts, advice or suggestions are very much welcome. This is my first post and yes lool I made a reddit account to see what strangers think. I’m losing my mind. The worst part is that I cannot express this to my loved ones, not friends or family. They’d be shocked at how I acted so out of character. The fact that I stepped out of my comfort zone and was rejected is enough embarrassment for me to carry. I cannot add the opinions and judgement of people who know me. I know there’s nothing I can do but some advice would be more than appreciated.
submitted by /u/tiredology
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