I will start with a bit of context then talk about what help i would need. Any advice is appreciated.
TLDR: Didn't ask a girl who liked me bc of lockdown. Now she is in a different country and said I'm her bestie when i asked her to be my gf yesterday. I still want to make things work and need some help. We are both in Europe rn, and for our postgrads would be in diff countries, but still in Europe.I can add more detail about what happened etc if needed. Wasn't sure how much is too much 🙂
So 4 months ago, I met a girl through a common friend. It was still complicated with my ex so i didn't think much of it. Things ended completely with my ex. Started talking to the New girl more and found out we had a lot of chemistry. We would talk all day, facetime a lot, share memes etc, which is essentially what i look for in a relationship, someone I can share everything with.
Even when I wouldn't reply when i was busy, she would text again multiple times(which I like) and she would support me in everything I did. She still does. She would also tell me every little thing going on in her life and when she was excited/sad abt something she would tell me first.She would also send me pictures of what she's doing, videos of her going for a walk etc.
It always felt like she liked me bc of how much we talked and how happy we would make each other, but i never made a move bc I knew she would go back to her country at some point, this was after our undergrad was over and we were waiting for results. I would still tell her I find her attractive and good looking etc, but not overtly flirting bc I was still recovering from my past relationship and so was she.
One of the last time we talked before she left, she went out for grocery shopping, texted me throughout, sent me videos and audios, I said it felt nice bc it was like we went on a walk together. She said we should. I dodged a few times saying i was working on uni applications and the like, bc i was sick and didn't want her to worry abt that. She already had a lot on her plate.
We did eventually go for a walk, went great and at some point she looked at me in a way like I was the only thing that mattered in that moment and i was the only thing that existed. And that look for me, cemented the idea that she loved me too. She also asked me to say hi to her mom when she facetimed her.
It's been two weeks since she went back to her country, and she was chatting less since then. Sometimes replying after a few hrs, before she used to reply within minutes most of the time. She also had more time then though. Now she hangs out with her family more, can go on walks with her dog, and has a full time job.
I asked her out yesterday. At first she said we're friends so i said we could be more. She said is still recovering from her past relationship and i'm her bestie. I said well it's fine if you're still recovering, i would be understanding and don't expect you to be perfect. She said it would still be better if we stayed friends and she likes the way it is now. And i said why , and she replied "i just don't feel the same way i guess"
I'm just confused bc it felt like she loved me, so maybe she doesn't anymore or I took too much time to act on in or she just doesn't want to put me in a long-distance relationship idk. She still double texts from time to time and there are still moments where it was like we were before. Just before, it was everyday so idk if it's me, her or just the lack of time bc of her full time job and family.
What i need help with: I want to know what I could next so that I could elevate our relationship from besties/more to a relationship. I didn't make the move before bc I don't like long-distance relationships and wanted something simple, but when i think of us, it's the simplest thing ever for me(cheesy, i know). So how can i make things better? And get our chemistry back to how it was? and hopefully turn that into a relationship? Do i act like just a friend now or do everything the way i used to? Or this time do i do a mix of like before+ more explicit in terms of how i fell so she knows i didn't give up on that? I genuinely like her and don't want to give up on us.
Regardless of what happens, I don't think we would lose each other but I also don't want us to be just friends. Please help! Thank you.
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