I genuinely don’t understand why anyone would have sympathy for men who struggle with women

Not a lot do, particularly with incels, which is rightfully so. But Ive seen people comment that it makes them sad to see men lonely and struggling like that. And I can't help but wonder why? Generally people know to avoid shitty personalities, and how abusive men potentially are (perceived or not), so women have developed ways to avoid self-pitying losers to not get trapped in an abusive relationship. I'm lonely and lack connections, but it's because I'm insecure and needy, and when I see people say things like "it breaks my heart to see such sad and lonely people" it irritates me because it's not like anyone owes us anything, and if you want to stop being so lonely, stop being such a shit person basically. This is what I've gathered over the years