I get crazy when I really like someone. Like it’s not healthy for me. And I always screw it up

I just need to stop. I think I’m just a huge weirdo. Think I just scared a girl that I’ve been friends with for several months now off. I texted her how I felt in a really emotional way. She had a neutral response. I joked that I would forgive her if she secretly laughed at me for getting so emotional. She was confused, maybe offended. Then I kept apologizing for everything. Now she’s not responding to me.

I’m so fucking pathetic. This is painful. I have no idea what I’m doing