TLDR; I got dumped over a message and wanted to get closure/give closure and I’m confused of his last message. Should I read “I’ll keep your offer in mind” as thanks but no thanks?
I met this guy (22m) on dating apps 3 months ago and we started talking on fb. Couple of days later, he came over and we hooked up. We’ve been honking up infrequently for a month then got busy. I started developing feelings but was too scared to show it after being cancelled on the day a couple of times. Excuses he gave seemed legitimate and he even said “I really do want to spend more time with you”. We hooked up once again and spent 20hrs together and that was it. We were in different cities for a few weeks and didn’t talk much. Once we got back into the same city he and I agreed to see me but then cancelled on me again.
In the afternoon of that day, I got a message saying he isn’t in the right stage of his life to do neither casual or anything serious. I wasn’t okay with this and confronted him to come talk in person. Then he said he didnt feel emotional connection with me and he seemed to be determined. He even mentioned how he was stressed about meeting me and he wouldn’t be able to sleep for a while. I felt sick right after that and my body refused to take any substantial amount of foods for the past few days and I lost 5 pounds so far aha (it’s been 3 days).
Anyhow, I realised that I really don’t want to be in this headspace and question what ifs to myself and not keeping my usual life get going. I messaged him my part(being scared and not being emotionally open) and stated that if he ever wonder whether things could’ve been different I’d love to hear back at some point in the future. But no pressure in replying and I’d take it as a no and move on.
I got a reply! He explained how he doesn’t like going outside and how he enjoys his life at home. Then he said he’s surprised I’m giving him the chance to see me again but he also mentioned I deserve someone who can match with my friendly intensity. All those you deserve- part got me to think it’s not happening. But then the last part, I’ll keep it in mind if the offer is still on the table after all these confuses me. I cannot decide whether I should stop torturing myself while being hung up with false hope or wait for him to come around.
The message doesn’t give me positive vibe but I’m also lost because he replied when I said I’d move on if I don’t get reply. Am I being too naive and not seeing this properly? Please help me to figure out. Also tips on moving on from someone would be fabulous. Stay cool x
Forgot to mention this but I figured we are both are Demi while breakin things off. Not sure whether it’d change anything though. But it indicates he’s not in for sex, neither I am.
submitted by /u/Jemma_Lee
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