This is important because the mere thought of having a woman shoot me down used to make my stomach churn. In turn leading me to just avoid putting myself out there altogether, "you cannot lose if you do not play". On the rare occasion I had a burst of courage and did, if I got rejected I'd stew over it, get upset and not try again for sometimes years.
The reason behind this was due to the fact I let these interactions define who I was. I needed validation from the opposite sex that I was attractive, interesting, successful etc. I interpreted rejection as an unquestionable confirmation that I had none of these qualities. What changed was that even though I've had relationships in the past, over the past few years I've built up an identity as a single guy – I have hobbies, things I'm passionate about, a good career, I know deep down who and what I am.
So when I went on a date with this girl yesterday, she was pretty cute, successful, we had good conversation. Afterwards I tried to set up a second date – no response. This would've been a gut punch previously , and I would've probably withdrawn from everything and gotten down in the dumps.. this time, after I realised I'd been ghosted, I just thought, "hmm, her loss" and got on with what I was doing.
The point is, for those men/women who know exactly what I'm talking about. It gets better, and it's a very liberating feeling.
submitted by /u/trianglechoke89
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