I have to decide if I want to keep seeing her, and it makes me feel absolutely awful

The context around it: I am male, 29 years old, have an FwB, and have never been in a relationship in my life. Yes, the girl in question knew about the FwB pretty much from the get go.

I met this girl back in January. And while we've been texting almost daily since then, I only had three rather short meets with her back in February, because she barely has time mainly because she has a little kid. Which wasn't ideal, but hey, what in life ever is? Also, she thought I'm the most attractive thing ever on earth and was very eager, and honestly I also think she is very attractive.

And, well, then the whole Covid stuff happened.

So fast forward to May… I feel really comfortable writing with her. Since the situation is a bit better now, I tried to set up dates with her, but she doesn't really have time and doesn't suggest herself when it'd be possible. All while continuing texting as eager as ever. I told her I don't like this limbo, and that I want to meet her again so we could get to the point where it is clear if we match for a relationship or not.

But then she says I'd have to decide now; if I want to get to know her better, I have to cut ties with my FwB. This was after me telling her that I of course will stop seeing the FwB as soon as we have a relationship. But she wants it now. And for me this feels like starting a relationship with her right now. But I don't feel like "hell yes!". I feel ambiguous about it. And that won't change until I've spent more time with her irl.

I feel like no matter what I decide, I'm going to regret it. I think I subconsciously expect the relationship to fail anyway.

So. Well. I think I technically already know what to do. But it makes me feel so, so very awful. I'm accusing myself of having strung her along, of having given her false hope and all that. I've hurt her, and now I have to hurt her again by breaking things off, but not doing so would only mean I hurt her much more later on.

I'm not insane, am I? I think I'm going to cry for a bit, then come back for the replies.