I just got myself out of a toxic pseudo relationship. We were both in our 20's. I (M) met a girl (F) within my town and we met each other on r4r and started off as friends. Eventually the hangouts became more frequent and we grew closer. We went from talking every so often to every single day. For the past year we have been talking to each other every single day. She ends up developing suicidal thoughts one day and goes into a psych ward, I visit her while she's a patient to make sure she's doing okay. She tells me she appreciates the visit, she gets released and we hang out again. Turns out she got into dating not too long after. Around valentines day we agree to go on a date, I asked her before and was rejected but this time apparently was different… We hit it off, really well. We make plans to meet again the upcoming weekend at the time. The next 2 days pass and apparently I was told that she went on two other dates the same week as mine (which I get, whatever). She dates girl A and guy B we'll call them. She ends up dating girl A (as in they became a serious couple) before we scheduled our next date and after we already planned it. I voiced I was kinda upset since I made plans and she basically shit on them. We almost end our friendship and it became emotional. I didn't even respond and she writes to me apologizing for "betraying my trust" But I man up and continue our friendship despite her making her choice. My heart was broken, but I said "whatever" under my breath. In about a week or two she starts sexting me. I tell her that if she wants to do stuff with me that she has to break up with her gf and do things the right way, I didn't want to be involved in cheating. What happens next? She actually schedules a threesome without myself or her gf at the time, she then turns around and tells her parents that she was visiting my house when she was actually planning to go elsewhere to have sex. So now I'm involved and didn't realize it until she was on her way to their house. I basically tell her since she decided to involve me in something so dangerous that if she were to walk through that door I would end our friendship. I also said "what happens if you get killed? or mugged or (etc…). And to top it off the only people who would've known you were out think you are at my house. So I gave her an ultimatum on the spot "Walk in, and I'm ending our friendship now" She promptly turned around and also broke up with her girlfriend.
After that I figure the girl has something for me at this rate, I figured she cared enough about me that she turned around and actually broke up with her gf just to spend time with me. She comes over, we make out and have sex (which was pretty bad btw)
The corona-virus pandemic hits and she and I cannot see each other for some time. Turns out she eventually gets a boyfriend while knowing I have a massive crush on her. Normally I wouldn't care so badly, but the guy she chose to be her boyfriend was Guy B that she dated that week we had our date. I was pretty devastated and felt singled out. I felt that she liked the people around me, I feel like I was used, taken advantage of and I'm pretty depressed and sad right now. I ended our friendship completely, she would always apologize profusely whenever we ended up in a situation like this. I decided I had enough and simply ended our friendship. This happened 2 or 3 times in a row and I was just sick of that feeling in my heart. I send her a short letter explaining my feelings and as to why I don't want to continue our friendship. After not talking to her for a few days I took off the rose colored glasses, I realized that she treated me like shit… I still love her, and my heart aches, I'm trying to move on but with the corona-virus and all, it hurts and it makes this even harder for me to move on now.
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