For context, I am a 22 year old male and I previously made a post how my new years resolution was to lose my virginity. On that post I discussed that I wanted to wait for someone special and how I also felt a little ashamed that I was still a virgin.
With that in mind I met a girl on Bumble who I talking to for about a month before we ever met up. I thought she was a very interesting girl. She was hard working, (worked a graveyard shift which made it difficult to hang out) she worked out, and she seemed very sweet and honest. This girl for the first time since my highschool relationship I felt she could be someone I could truly love.
The first date we had was mediocre for what we did for activities. At the end of the date I asked her if she wanted to go home or if she wanted to continue hanging out. After she told me she wanted to hang out more, so we went to my place and watched some television, talked, and drank. I previously told her that I had some edibles as well and we took them. Eventually one thing leads to another and I lost my virginity that night. During the date I also told her that I was a virgin and she seemed to be understanding about the fact. In the morning I drove her home and we both awkwardly expressed how we wanted to see eachother again.
A week later I bring her flowers and chocolates for her birthday. (This gift only cost me about $10) I dropped off the gift and told her to have a good day with her family and gave her, her space.
The day after her birthday she informs me that she doesn't think we are compatible. Her reasons for this is that she believed all I wanted was a FWB situation which I told her was untrue. She also said that she wasn't ready for a relationship right now, and that she wanted to be married at some point in the future. This confused me as she seemed to want a relationship and not at the same time. Then for the cherry on top of our incompatibility is that I am "too blessed" and she was sore the day after we had sex so we wouldn't be compatible. (which I can promise you I am not a large guy and that statement is just false.)
In her defense she did get out of a relationship at the end of last year and she might still be recovering from that. Also in her defense I might have came on too strong as I got her a gift on her birthday and that we had sex on the first date.
The thing that haunts me most about this experience is that I developed feelings after losing my virginity to her. I am also unhealthily wondering exactly what I did wrong because I didn't even have the opportunity to make a mistake. I wanted to date her and I am too much of a romantic and I know that for anyone I love I would give them the world.
For the most part this is post is just to vent about my problems and maybe get some advice from the community. I guess if you made it this far congratulations! I hope you are safe during this pandemic. The only questions I have is, How do I avoid situations like this in the future? How can I make online dating tolerable?
submitted by /u/yodamasterchief
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