Me and this girl met at work last year in October and have always been very playful, honest and a bit flirty with each other. She would many times confide personal things in me which I found strange at first since we barely knew each other but I let it roll. A few months pass, February rolls around and she asks me if I'm gonna celebrate Carnival somewhere, after which we decided to meet up on 2 different days and party together. Since booze would be involved, I told her that I'd only be willing to drink if I somehow found a place to crash on the first day (no friends in that town and I'm not stupid enough to drive drunk), so she offered to sleep at her place, which I accepted (only had platonic thoughts). It's the first day and me and my sister arrive in her town, I promptly give my sister the car keys and we part ways. Due to the sheer amount of people on that day the network was congestioned so I couldn't get any message or call through, which meant I couldn't contact her to meet up. I spent almost an hour around town until I finally saw her getting frisky with a dude I initially thought was her bf, so I peaced out cuz I didn't want that kind of drama in my life (luckily she didn't notice me).
After that, two days pass and we're supposed to meet up in my town for Carnival. She texts me first, asking me if I had been to her town and I just gave her a bullshit excuse (friends cancelled, etc), and confirmed that we'd be seeing each other in my town. After some playful texting we meet up and she informs me that she isn't staying long because her friends want to go to another city, so we spent about 30 minutes talking and laughing about randumb things, then I saw her off and went to meet up with my friends.
Next time we saw each other after Carnival was at work. This is when I noticed that I'm slowly but surely starting to catch feelings for her, but I decided to reserve them for myself after what happened on the first day of Carnival… at least, until we had to work 3 straight days right next to each other, during which we talked about all kind of shit, such as sports, the emerging COVID-19, plans for the summer, etc. She randomly decided to take our conversation into sex territory (after she saw how comfortable I was talking about explicit things), and told me about her preferences and what she dislikes. After she inevitably asked me about my sexual life, I told her that although I might be an open book, I don't have any pages written yet. She remarked that I don't carry myself like someone who is a virgin, which I took as a compliment (I guess?).
I took the opportunity to talk with her about what happened during Carnival, and what her boyfriend would have thought about her inviting me to crash at her place. Her answer: she doesn't have a boyfriend. She went on to tell me that she's "seeing" a guy that, according to her, is very indecisive and unsure of himself (later found out he might have been using her for sex), so I took my chance and asked her on a date. She enthusiastically says yes, so we plan to go on a walk with her dog next Sunday. Date day arrives, I text her around 3 hours before we are supposed to meet up to confirm if she's still available, she answers that she hasn't been feeling well since the day before our date (she had firefighter training and something she ate made her feel unwell), so we decide to leave it for another time and spent the rest of the day texting. Next day I confirmed that she didn't flake on me because I saw her leaving work early and chatted her up, and she was visibly sick (luckily not with COVID-19), so we spent the week texting much more than before and even escalating our convos sometimes, which made me hopeful of her interest in me.
Some time passes, she returns to work and we plan our first date for the 2nd time, with her promising to tell me if she doesn't feel healthy enough for the date. On the 2nd date, I do the usual and text her to confirm we're meeting, and she leaves me on read. I call her in case she forgot her phone somewhere in her apartment (she mentioned doing this often) and absolutely nada. Against common sense, I decide to drive 25 minutes to her and waited in the car for her to answer. 30 minutes pass, and she finally texts me that she fell asleep after having felt bad that morning; she still offered to see her outside her apartment "after she had some time to properly wake up", but I didn't have the patience for that so I just went home. A few hours pass and we're back to texting, with her telling me she's sorry for what happened, and that her whooping cough which kept her up many nights still hadn't subsided. We meet again at work, and she's indeed still coughing sometimes, especially in the morning, which made me not question her intentions.
The next few work days go quickly by, due to us getting a stay-at-home order. We flirt a bit at work to reaffirm our interest in each other and decide to plan a date after we're 100% sure she's healthy enough to go. On the first lockdown day I convinced her to have a short, 10 minutes call which turned into an 1 hour one, which surprised me since she hates calls. We talked about the restrictions in place, random guys messaging her and her giving them the boot, her dog, and other random stuff. She started coughing around halfway of our call so I didn't mention planning a date yet. On the 2nd lockdown day, I was busy with personal things so I only got to text her at night, after she had snapped me a pic of her horseback riding in another town.
Next day, I opened with a dumb pickup line (she hates them) and asked her if she's fit for a date. She said she's still recovering from her cold, and that we should wait a bit. I confront her about going horseback riding the day before and she replies that she went nowhere (???) then asked me why I wanted to go on a date with her (??????). Now, something I should mention is that:
1: I told her that I sometimes PLATONICALLY think about my last crush, since she was a close friend of mine and we haven't heard from each other in 6 years.
2:Another thing to keep in mind is that we played 21 questions and she asked me if I'm in love with someone, to which I answered "No, but I might have a crush on someone".
3:Lastly, she mentioned that she has suffered from cheating in a past relationship.
Anyways, she confronted me about me telling her that I'm not in love with anyone, but I still think about my last crush (as a friend, which she failed to understand, I guess…). I tried to assure her that I'm interested in her and her alone, but her only reply was that she momentarily only wants to be friends; I thanked her for letting me know, and she only said "Sorry".
This happened in the beginning of April. We haven't texted since, outside of Snapchat. We're going to see each other either on the 11th or 18th of May, which is when our company wants to start working again. I intend to fully explain myself to her, but refuse to do so over texting, only face to face, which is made hard by the ongoing global situation. With that in mind, should I text her and see how she's doing, keeping in mind where our last convo ended?
TL;DR: Co-worker wanted to date me, confided in me that she was cheated on in a past relationship, I stupidly mention someone I had a crush once, now she's suspicious of my intentions.
submitted by /u/flubbersocks
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