Hey everyone!
Ok so, first of all… I'm not sure if this is something I want talk or ask about as I have never done in the past, not really that type of guy. Usually I share this with my one best friend, sadly, she is stuck in her mother country and is unable to return due to covid19 and she doesnt have access to constant telecommution (she is safe thankfully), so i decided to share on here. And I'm not sure if I'm on here to get some advice or just want to share. but I wanted to give this a go, maybe somethng good will come out of it.
So, I was in a long term relationship(7 years) which ended in 2017, and since then it has been one disappointment after another… dating life sucks! I'm 27 now. One thing that i learnt from being back in the dating world for few years now is that I know what qualities i want in a person I would like to be with.
Anyways this was bit of context about me and now for the real reason why i decided to post here:
Few weeks ago, i came across a girl on tinder( i know lol), she was really cute and i found myself very attracted to her, she doesn't seem like "I'm on tinder to hookup" kind of person. Furthermore, she had her Instragram name in the bio (wasn't linked to the tinder account). She seem very successful, passionate about her career, educated, independent, had similar interests like travelling, food, pets, love of architecture and arts… she seems very "real" and as per tinder, we are located quite close to each other(probably went to the same high school but we are few years apart). All these qualities being very important to me.
However, we didn't match… for whatever reason, wheather she swiped left or didnt even see my profile. But… I said to myself "whatever" after few days of waiting. It was time for me to move on, i don't really get hung up on girls and have no problem getting over things, especially after getting over my long term relationship and being on tinder for few years now.
But i dont know what is happening, I find myself on her instragram at times… this is not like me, at first I thought it was just infatuation. But if it was, i would have gotten over it in days, as I have done it in the past. Well, its been weeks now and i randomly think about her something on daily basis and i know this sounds weird because I just saw her tinder and Instagram profile and i sound like a creep just stalking her social media, haha, but thats just how I feel. This is more than just physical attractive, infact, that is probably the last thing on my mind. Now that said, I do really like her based on her online profile… but I do not know her in person, so my intent currently isnt to "win" her and live happily ever after… lets be real… at the moment, it would be nice just to get to know each other more in person!
So, what is the problem? I have her Instagram, why not just message her?
Well, Here the thing, I have never asked a girl out… ever… I only have been asked out, been setup by friends and online dating( in which they usually ask me out as well). I mention is not to sound narcissistic but to emphasize that I have no experience initiating conversation with a person that I like which implies my interest in them, in a socially acceptance manner. That said, I'm not implying that im socially awkward, my friends and people that I come in contact with describe me as somewhat of a "social butterfly", simple put, i never asked a girl out, so i suck at it!
And things just extremely intensified when it comes to online! I mean lets be real here, how can one except to break ice when a girl gets crazy amounts of messages online, on regular basis (especially when her profile is open to public and has a large following, she has over 1500 follows not sure if this is something worth mentioning). My thoughts, why even bother? I mean, if i message her, how am i different than other guys that have been messaging her?
I just listed so many reasons why i shouldn't message her… so why am i even bothering with all this. Well, my best friend told me this once, "Maybe your love life is shit because you keep dating girls that like you first, but you never dated anyone that you liked first." I never really cared for what she said before, maybe because i didnt really like another girl as much. Until now.
I dont want to message her because I feel it will be useless, but at the same I'm I feel like if i don't, i might miss out on something that may be life changing… finding true love (chessy, I know lol)
Perhaps, it time for me to change just go for it. To be very honest, I'm very nervous about this, I know in this situation, people will say, "you got nothing to lose, because if you don't go for it you will never know". While i understand that, it does place a ton of pressure on already intense situation because I like this person so much! There is a higher chance that this wont workout because my message will probably get lost or just be viewed as just another "guy" messaging = "ignore".
After sharing this much, I actually feel more motivated to contact her! Uhmm! How do i stand out! How do i not become just another guy obessing over her!
Thanks for reading!
Please lets keep this civil! I would love to hear anything you may have to say!
Share you story with me/us, your thoughts, suggestions!
Anything negative, please keep it to yourself.
Thanks!
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