If someone is upset with you, they shouldn’t bottle it in and act like a jerk

I’m (20F) pretty sick of this kind of texting behavior.

Yeah, some people need time to cool down if they’re upset or angry, but they should be reasonable about it. I’ve had instances where I’ve texted a statement or a mean joke to someone I’m dating, and they roll with it or go silent, THEN after a few days they tell me what I said made them upset. At its worst peak, I had an ex who would break up with me and block all my contacts for a few days EVERY TIME there was an argument, then deciding to come back to talk about it.

They didn’t keep silent because they were afraid to break the news to me; it was because they all got really upset. I don’t take offense to someone feeling like a joke I said didn’t sit well with them, but it’s their responsibility to tell me that. Over text especially; I can’t just “figure it out.”

How am I supposed to know that they didn’t like something unless they communicate? Why do they think that makes it okay to put full blame back onto me, stating their silent treatment/blocking was justified because I hurt their feelings? The most ridiculous response I’ve heard from an experience like that was “I shouldn’t have to tell you that I got upset or that it was a mean joke because you’re already supposed to know how to treat people politely.” Wtf?

Edit: added the detail that I’m a woman