If the relationship doesn’t make you feel how you want to feel, leave it.

It sounds easy but it isn’t simple. I (33F) struggled through a “relationship” with a guy (42M) for more than a year and a half who couldn’t express emotions, never made me feel like I knew where I stood, and overall made me feel like an afterthought to his incredibly lame life even though he told me it wasn’t the case. It really hurt when it ended and I thought I would never date again. It wasn’t without effort on my part. I expressed my feelings, asked for good morning texts, asked for him to initiate plans more, and it never happened. The truth is, if he had wanted to, he would have. I just didn’t mean that much to him. The situation brought out the worst in me and looking back I don’t know why I didn’t get out earlier.

I started dating a new man and it’s only been 4 months, but he doesn’t need to be taught how to treat me. I know he wants me, I am the only one he talks to, and he tells me how important I am to him through his actions, words, and attention to detail. His days are full with his job, son, taking care of elderly grandparents, and he STILL makes me feel that I am special to him and lets me know if he will be quiet some days due to being tied up.

After your early 20s, if you haven’t figured out what you want out of your life, you owe it to yourself to think about it. HURT people hurt people. Don’t be part of the cycle. If you’re on the other side and someone tells you they don’t know what they want, wish them well on their journey and go get what you want. You being there won’t help them figure it out.