If you feel the need to change the person you’re dating, you probably shouldn’t be with them.

Obviously there are exceptions to this, some people do need to change. But the change needs to come from them. If someone doesn’t want to change, words will only ever be words. They may tell you they’re going to change to make you happy, but they will fall back into their habits. Its not fair to you or them to make them become something they aren’t. You aren’t their parent, babysitter, savour, or teacher. Growth comes from the inside out. If you aren’t willing to accept your partner for who they are, the good and the bad, then you probably shouldn’t be with them. And you should probably also look in the mirror sometime, if you feel like someone else isn’t giving you what you need, you’re probably blind to the actual problem. Nobody is here to serve you or make you happy. You are responsible for your own happiness and wellbeing. If you feel like you keep repeating the same patterns in relationships, where you feel like people can never meet all your needs, you probably need to look at what you’re not giving yourself. I learned the hard way, relationship after failed relationship, that I’ve been neglecting my own self love and self care, and because I couldn’t give myself the love that I needed, I was constantly on the search for someone who could. Someone who could fill that void. But there was always something missing. Nobody else can heal your relationship with yourself except you. It took a lot of damn hard internal work for me to get to a place where I am finally comfortable being alone. I am finally giving myself the love I deserve, and I don’t need anything from anyone else. I can now love other people for who they are, rather than what they can give to me. And yet I don’t feel the need to even date anyone right now. I am happy being alone, and focusing my time making meaningful connections and friendships rather than spending time with people who are also looking for what they can take from me. I have never felt so much love for myself than I do now, and that’s all I need.