That's a belief I held firmly my entire life. If you had told me a few years ago that I would go from avoiding speaking almost entirely (due to a debilitating stutter)…to delivering a TEDx talk, performing stand-up comedy and genuinely loving social interaction, I'd have asked you: "What are you on?"
Ironically, I have come to realize that all of this growth happened not in spite of having dealt with severe social anxiety my whole life, but because of it, thanks to it. Here are three reasons for why a once insurmountable and paralyzing disadvantage can turn into fuel for transformation:
1- Heightened Awareness
As with all traits, normal distribution would imply that most individuals actually deal with some degree of social anxiety. We are just the lucky ones who made it to the top percentiles 🙂 Because they have what we could refer to as "functional social anxiety", they are never forced to label it or to do anything about it. On the other hand, we are painfully aware of its existence and thus have to pick one of two extremes: being paralyzed by it our entire lives (while missing out on countless opportunities for growth, professional opportunities, friendship and romance) or actively do something about it. By engaging in the latter, we can often end up with a better utilization of our true potential than in the absence or necessity of that awareness.
2- Internal Compass
Fear never goes away – our relationship with it can change drastically. Before each one of the hundreds of talks, stand-up performances and parties/events I've experienced in the past few years (pre-covid of course), those butterflies are strongly present. Instead of seeing fear as a roadblock, I now see it as a trampoline that I must jump on to propel myself forward in life. It reminds me of something that happened about two months ago…I was at a business conference and there was a Q&A after the keynote speaker was done, and as soon as they announced it, I started feeling HEAVY ANXIETY (all the signs, my heart beating extremely quickly, dehydration). The old me would have interpreted that signal as a deterrent from doing it, the new me however identified that same signal as a reason to do it. Fear is our compass.
3- Purpose
Everyone talks about the importance of purpose to live a meaningful life. We have been given a very clear one: overcoming the mountain of social anxiety. It's going to be a lifelong journey, and one with immeasurable benefits to reap along the way…if we take the first step. I'm not implying it's our only purpose (obviously)- it is however a journey that we must embark on…otherwise, we are destined to a life of regrets and wasted potential.
I actually also wrote a short guide for more actionable steps one can take to conquer that fear, comment below if you'd like to read it and I'll flip it to you!
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