My upbringing wasn’t abusive, but there were a lot of negative aspects to it to make me come to a conclusion. I think that a good parent shouldn’t be a helicopter, but still needs to center most, if not every, decision around “what’s best for the children.” A lot of parents already don’t do this, but I just think this is what makes a good parent.
Parenting doesn’t stop once your child turns 18. The dynamics of the relationship might change, but parenthood is and should be a lifetime commitment, and I don’t want that in my life. Aside from it being a huge financial responsibility, I’m not someone who wants to live my life for another person, even if that person is my child.
Even if it’s selfish, I’ve accepted that thinking this way would make me an awful parent, which is why I’d never want children. The person I’m with isn’t asking for children, but I know they’re very open to it. I’m worried if I say this to him, it’ll be a dealbreaker. I guess it’s stubborn to assume he’d listen to my reasons and understand where I’m coming from. I just don’t think it’s fair to automatically jump ship if their partner doesn’t want to be a parent; do they know how much of their life will be dedicated to taking care of a child? It’s a huge sacrifice to both parties.
submitted by /u/kaylintendo
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