I (28F) am dating an introvert (32M) INFJ to be exact. I am not overly extroverted, but more so than introverted. We have been dating for 5 months now and he is so sweet and I connect with him really well, when we are together we could talk for hours about really interesting things and we both really enjoy it, he is respectful of me and is generally a great guy. However, I have picked up on little things like I am the first one to text him everyday…and I’ve left it the whole day sometimes just to see if he would say anything. I find that I am always the one initiating plans. I’m very close to my family and, although he seems very nervous about meeting them, every time I invite him to family events he has turned down the invite and I understand, so I try to set up a meeting with just my sister and her boyfriend, who he has a lot of similar interests with, because I know that would be a softer/less overwhelming approach to dipping his toes into meeting my family, and he never wants to commit to any solid plans like that. This really offends me, because I have met a lot of his friends and will go to his friends events with him and have a good time, and he hasn’t met a single friend or family member of mine. I wanted to tell him I loved him about 3 months in to the relationship but felt like he should say it first, and he hasn’t said it yet, it makes me feel like he is not on the same level as me. My work schedule is always the same, I work 7 evenings in a row mon-sun, and then have 7 days off. He works Monday-Thursday eves 10hr shifts…due to this, I only get to see him every second weekend on my week off. This past weekend he wanted to work his truck and I asked him if I would see him at all and he said he didn’t know when he would be done, so I got upset and I took this as him not wanting to spend time with me, because it will be two more weeks until we can see each other next. I wanted to communicate to him that he hurt my feelings and when I explained this, he didn’t say that he was sorry, he just explained that he can’t give me the attention that I want (all I’m asking is for every other weekend, it’s not a lot to ask) and that he needs to work on his truck because it offers him time to himself, and a sense of accomplishment. He didn’t even offer just a couple hours out of a day to see me at all. So now it will be a total of 4 weeks that we don’t see each other and it really makes me feel unwanted, if it was for an event or a trip or something that would be fine, but he was working on his truck that has been sitting in his garage for a year. My question is, am I wrong to be hurt by this? Is this just introvert behaviour or is he being an ass? We talk about both wanting children and a family, if we were to have kids one day is he just going to end up in the garage all weekend and leave me stranded and alone?
submitted by /u/mysticlemonade
[link] [comments]
