The whole relationship wasn’t toxic but it was. It was a tolerable toxic in the beginning but then towards the end it really didn’t have nothing left in it. There was no flame, no feelings no love. She tried to say there was and that she was “trying” but she wasn’t. She knew exactly how to hurt me and she also knew exactly how to temporarily fix it. And I knew the same. It was toxic. But now that we are broken up and moved out from our apartment i just am obviously completely and entirely lost and She wasn’t a to continue to stay friends on social and she said she’s going to “wait for me” and she “only wants me for the rest of her life” but she doesn’t do anything to show me the first step to her being a better person. She can’t even do a “simple” task of respecting me when I speak to her. She is a control freak and only cares about what I’m doing when it seems like I’m going out somewhere. I personally never wanted this, I didn’t want to be friends, I didn’t want to stay in contact but I did because I knew it was going to keep her crazy away. It completely breaks my heart watching her lie and deceive me when she has no reason to do so. I told her she does not have to wait for me. I said you can talk to other people. Go see other people and she opposes. But when I see her she acts completely sneaky and like she is hiding something. I have nothing to hide as I have not even tried to start talking even entertaining another person. I can barely keep my self from becoming a vegetable. So I am about 2 days away from completely losing my fucking mind and I just needed to get this off my chest.
submitted by /u/help-less
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