I (F26) downloaded Hinge, I have little dating experience because I was very into completing my education without the stress of maintaining a relationship. Now that I have a stable job and have worked on myself, I feel like im alot more healthy/stable to start/ keep a relationship 🙂
~it might be imp to mention im super healthy(even work in dietetics/nutrition) , workout everyday/ martial arts, im into nerdy shit like anime, and I dress very put together and stylish because half my job is bussiness negotiations …. so I get people may just be clicking my profile for my looks and maybe not my personality; because ofcourse you click faces that look nice enough that your gonna have to see alot in the future lol. Im also so not into hookup culture and a bit traditional minded about relationships but really not religious; I date with the purpose of finding the one your gonna want to live a life with, ya kno? is that not the point? lol
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ANYWAYS,
Here's where the problem lies…
and ive looked through reddit for adivice on this and cant seem to find my answer…
there may be a few questions in this but im trying my best to write it out
I get alot of people messaging/ liking my photos…. and my natural response is to answer them because thats polite …but alot of people are saying your not suppose to do that? because if your not interested to date them …then your giving false hope and then they wont stop like bugging you. so with that in mind, Im not clicking profles because I feel if I cant find anything in common on thier profile …then how could we possibly get along? thats probably terrible thinking (-_-; ) and there was one person I talked to who had nothing nerdy on his profile and then BAM turns out he cosplays … so since that happened I realize you gotta talk to people inorder to learn more about them that they left out of thier profile. Which makes sense, I probably dont have alot to go on my profile either…. hinge only allows so many pics and quotes and I barely have nerd shit on my profile so …I get it and I dont lol
Now im just confused how it works and just not messaging poeple as a result
I dont like playing games with people, but seems like dating is one big game in a way? lol
so How exactly do i go about messaging guys who like my profile, talk to them, and decide wether i like them enough to go on a date (after the Lockdown)? how do you gauge that? I understand texting is different than actually meeting someone … but if thier profiles arent showing common interests, but if chat with them anyways… and it turns out yeah we dont have much in common … how do i tell him im not feeling a connection? or can you not make that call till after you go on a date? i understand people suck at texting. rip. See, my friends tell me you cant just be straight forward with a guy and that if you dont feel a connection just ghost them … but thats rude af! no? I would tell the guy wats up, but the tought of him say "but i like you! lets try more to connect!" freaks me out because i hate hurting people, but im also capable of speaking my mind and sayinh no and just walking away. I just feel there must be a better way to turn someone down without being a rude B!tch. lets say i even go on a date and dont feel much… how do you politely turn someone down?? Can I start a convo like "im not sure we have alot in common, but lets chat and find out?" (^_^ ; ) though that also seems kinda rude lol ….man this shit is hard lol
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Any advice is most welcomed! ThanK you!
and i hope you all have a nice day & stay safe 🙂
submitted by /u/Sammi2727
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