I’m head over feels for this guy

I need to vent about my happiness guys, I'm sorry if this is sappy, I know it is but I'm just so happy right now.

I got out of a very toxic relationship recently, and I honestly thought that I wouldn't want to date for a very, very long time. I had even sworn to myself that I was going to be a bit cynical with love and wait until I felt the spark again. My friend and I went out one night and she invited a few friends, one of whom seemed very sweet and interesting to talk to. We went out to another party the day after that which he also attended too, and we clicked instantly. I actually thought that I had "cockblocked" or friendszoned myself because I tried so hard to keep my head cool around him, and ended up drinking a bit too much because the night was so fun. He walked me home to make sure I didn't get lost (I just moved here), and went back home himself. Th next day we started talking and met up at a park near me to walk around the good weather. My friend had arranged a party to try to wingman me with him, but him and me ended up just chilling at my place instead (which was really cute, he helped me set up my internet).

We had a few days where he was out of town, but we still talked daily, and I could feel a sense of happiness every time we talked, that I haven't felt in a long time. I was falling in love and it was all a bit overwhelming because he's the sweetest guy I've ever met, and I'm so scared of messing things up with my complicated past (though so far he's been nothing but a sweetheart and understanding about it)

He came back to town a few days ago and I went to see him, and we ended up making it official because we both suck at casual, and both really like each other. I just need to vent about how lovely all of this is. He cooks me meals, and it motivates me to start taking my recovery from an eating disorder seriously, because I know that he wouldn't look any differently at me if I gained a bit of weight. And he's so understanding, and encouraging about me hanging out with my friends, even if that means I have to cancel my date with him. I just.. the contrast of my last, very toxic relationship to this blows my feet away. I never thought that such good people existed. I had honestly given up on finding a partner that would be so kind and affectionate, but here he is and im loving everything so far.

I think the reason I'm also writing this is, well of course because I want to express my happiness and maybe give some hope to those of you who are dating and might not have found a good match yet, but also because I myself browsed the web for hope about what my future could look like if I stood up for myself and walked away from the toxicity. I just want people to know that if you're in a toxic/abusive relationship and you're scared of leaving because you don't know what'll happen, or if there's ever going to be someone who'll accept you for who you are without judgement, please know that there's gonna be one who'll not only accept those parts of you, but love them equally with the light and positive parts. It might not be today, tomorrow, a week from now, or a month, or hell, even a year from now, but at some point there'll be someone who'll wake your interest, and if you're lucky, they'll be the person that's just right for you.

It's all very new with me and him, but I can't wait for the future, because if it continues this way, I can't see a problem we couldn't fix.

Sorry for my sappy vent, but I just want to give some hope to people and have a nice post that focuses on lovely part of dating; the good feeling and endorphine rush, and the feeling of safety and comfort that someone precious will make you experience doing stuff that they don't even think about. An example; him walking me home (not a suuper long way, but still pretty far) vulentarily made me feel so much safer going home through streets that would normally make me anxious. And him just making breakfast for the both of us, made me feel cherished in a way i'd never expected. And lastly, the look in his eyes when he's looking at me, makes me heart flustered and my cheeks turn bright tomato red.

Sorry for the Sappy post, I just wanted to share this wholesome moment of mine. I hope you've all had a great day!