I’ve been in love with this girl for about a year, and my feelings have not gone away, they have only gotten stronger. She likes all of the same music as I do, we would spend hours on end talking about our favorite music. She’s so intelligent, she has a beautiful mind that’s different from everyone else’s. I feel an emotional connection to her, that won’t go away as much as I try.
As far as I know, she’s not in a relationship. She mentioned that she doesn’t have a label for her sexuality, and she goes for personality over looks. She doesn’t talk about her dating life or romantic interests to anyone, she’s very subtle, and doesn’t open up to a lot of people. But when she does open up, her words are beautiful, and her mind is amazing. I once stayed up all night talking to her about life, and deep existential topics like that. I don’t know for sure what her feelings are for me. I know she admires me, she once sent me this long beautiful paragraph about how much she cared and looked up to me, but I could not tell if that was friendly or if it was romantic. She’s flirted a couple times, she’ll call me pretty whenever I send her pictures of my face. But she’s also a very confusing human. She’s so mysterious and I can’t quite explain her with words, she fascinates me.
I’ve liked her for as long as I’ve known her. We’re both young (both 15) and I’ve never been in a serious relationship before. But I’m so in love with her.
Almost every night I come close to telling her, but then I always convince myself out of it for some stupid reason. “It’s not the right time” “she probably doesn’t like you back” “imagine what your friends and everyone around you would think if you got rejected” “that’s the girl that (insert name) rejected” are all thoughts that rampage through my head when I come close to telling her. It’s like there’s a wall between my confession to her, and I’ve been trying to get past it for so long but I can’t.
As of now, the only way I can confess to her is over social media because of the current corona virus situation. But I’ve also thought of another way to confess: I want to write her a letter and send it to her. I think the best way to confess is to write her something (I know it sounds old school) but I think she’d like that way more (especially considering the fact that she isn’t even on her phone much.) my only issue with the letter idea is that I feel like that’s a little too direct and might make her feel uncomfortable if she doesn’t even like me back. I also have to ask her for her mailing address which seems a bit odd. I wish I could just tell her, but I’m so scared. I’m unsure on the whole situation, and I don’t even know how I’m going to tell her.
What should I do?
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