Im kind of embarrassed that I’m going to turn 20 and still haven’t had sex?

So it’s been weighing on my mind and I only have a week until I turn 20, but I’m kind of bummed out and embarrassed somewhat bc I havnt had sex with a chick. It’s the principle of someone liking you enough to fuk you, and I guess not having that makes me feel like something is wrong with me.

And I kind of consider myself decent looking, before corona I was starting to really see progress and usually at parties it isn’t uncommon for me to have a girl confess her feelings to me (drunk girls seem to do that) or at least get a girls phone number. After going out more I didn’t realize how much alcohol helps everything, and I’ve made out with a girl and had foreplay for the first time this year, and I’m learning to be more comfortable with my sexual energy.

I don’t really have a problem with girls it’s just that I don’t really know how to escalate anything, which is why alcohol makes things easier. I also live at home, so unless a girl invites me over, (which happened before but we just cuddled and nothing ended happening) it’s kind of hard.

Also when I had a “gf”, it was a thing, and we both liked each other, but she was really religious and conservative so it felt awkward to hold hands or do anything. The furthest I went with that girl was holding hands and we were hanging out for like 2 months, and idk we were both inexperienced, she said she never masterbated or anything, and and it seemed like she didn’t have desires, and so I kind of felt like she would reject me if I mad advances. I kind of got over this by just learning use playful touches and I had girls make first moves, and it really helped with my confidence and made me realize that girls do have desires just like guys.

All in all, I feel like I’m just a little insecure that it hasn’t happened, and I just don’t really know how to escalate things maybe. Also the conservative/religious girl ended up saying that she didn’t feel comfortable being physical bc she started to see me as a friend. And we established that it would be cool if we kissed over text before but idk I guess I’m so scared of being rejected and her not giving me signals, and not having sexual energy just kind of intimidated me.

So the final question is should I just keep doing whatever I’m doing or should I just get it over with, and start actively trying or something.